DS23mo is a classic introvert and needs time and space to warm to new activities and environments... "I need more space please."
"I don't want to play, thank you."
"Please don't touch me."
"I am using my [insert toy]. You can't have it."
"Please go away."
Yesterday... two little boys began following him around the park trying to (not maliciously) take his toy away. He went through all the language above, then turned to me and began crying. The other parents had such little control over their children, even when I confronted them, that DS and I had to leave to give him the space he needed. This was after I had to physically prevent them from reaching DS.
We had a discussion on the walk to a quieter park about how it's okay to withdraw from an over-stimulating situation, and I explained to him that other young children are just learning to talk and may not understand him. I encouraged him to continue to use his words and praised him effusively for speaking his needs plainly and respectfully. He really was clear.
Any recommendations...
I'm in awe of you and your child, how naturally you've analyzed and accommodate his needs, and teach him strategies to self-advocate... and how naturally he employs these techniques, even at a young age. Have you considered suggesting that your son try the simple words, "
Stop", "
No", and even calling "
Help!" when others may not respond to more complete communication? Often children may understand this, even with limited vocabulary, or limited English. Adults within earshot may also get a clear picture of what is going on.
Meanwhile I'm sorry to hear that other children would not back off, and may have been unresponsive to their parents (or the parents were unresponsive to the situation). Not to make excuses, but it is possible these children may have ADD/ADHD or other diagnoses in their future and their parents may be overwhelmed and out of ideas other than to let their children run and play in the park until they are exhausted.
I share the following to encourage you in the important task of helping your son maintain control of his physical space. It is my understanding that in daycare, preschool, playground, etc it is most often the children with limited vocabulary, frustrated and unable to express themselves, who tend to bite other children as a means of communicating their displeasure. Unfortunate illnesses can be spread by a bite, and institutions tend to protect the identity and medical history of the biter.
Most likely you lifted your son and whisked him away to "physically prevent them from reaching DS"... this is wise as in general parents may not touch another person's child. Some may allege assault.
I will also be interested to see what books others may have to recommend for raising introverts.
