Yeah, the whole fairies, santa claus thing, etc. can cause a lot of problems. In my neighborhood parents actually got furious when a kid told some other kids santa wasn't real (one nasty woman referred to said child as "what a little shit!") And they were equally furious with the parent of said child who revealed the fraud because 'how dare they not conform and cause such trouble!' Made me nervous because I have a sort-of don't lie policy. I was of the mind that if older DS point blank asked if Santa (for example) were real I would tell him the truth but otherwise it was a don't ask don't tell policy. But I also didn't play santa up all that much ( I don't do elf on the shelf or any of the threatening if you're not blindly obedient santa won't come, etc.) Anyway, Ds was okay with santa for about a year but he's smart and naturally questioning and a critical thinker - I guess he was about late three when he skeptically point blank asked me. We had a long talk about it and how he shouldn't tell other kids that believe b/c it's fun for them and their families and it's their culture, etc. I explained how I wanted him to always be able to trust me and that's why I had decided if he asked I would of course not lie to him. My younger DS is more of a believer... I told older DS he is not say anything until the time is right - ie when younger DS asks (which appears will be quite awhile) or some other signs. I am more nervous theat younger DS will not have the same restraint from revealing the fraud as older DS. I try to use Indian people in our community and Jewish people as a model - I talked with them about how they handle "not ruining it" for the kids whose culture is built on this stuff and that was helpful.
Anyway, I feel you... your situation has always been a bit of a fear of mine... Fortunately we've been able to side-step it for now.
Last edited by Irena; 09/12/13 08:07 AM.
