His rigidity shows up at school, he always says that nobody will play with him. When I talk to him about it, he says that he wants to play a certain game but with no outs. The other kids don't want to play with no outs, so he just spends recess by himself.
A lot of kids on spectrum are like this-- the rigidity is very socially isolating. Our ABA therapy program focused for ages on how to be flexible and how to be a good loser, how to join others' games and enjoy them even if it wasn't your first choice. These are key skills for making and keeping friends.
I thought he was on the autism spectrum for years, but my husband is a pediatrician... he says no. The psych says he is not. The social group we take him to uses ABA and almost all of the kids there are on the spectrum. My son fits right in, so if he is not on the spectrum, he is a neighbor of the spectrum. lol
Far be it from me to say your DH and psych are wrong-- I am just a random person you met on the Internet-- but our otherwise excellent pediatrician swore DS couldn't have autism, and he very clearly does-- just not the flavor of it she had encountered in her training and experience. We have also seen psychologists who are very invested in giftedness underplay disabilities as "quirks" of the gifted-- but we feel that only hinders access to appropriate supports.
So again, YMMV.
DeeDee
