Now, isn't a gifted child supposed to be intense and focused to the point of obsession in an area of interest (like photography, science, math, geography, art, animals, languages or whatever)? How can a so called "gifted" child not be motivated about anything?
DD9 (a DYS) is also not motivated about anything in the sense of 'showing off' her intellect--and actually, in our experience, being 'focused to the point of obsession' would be considered a huge negative and evidence of a disorder (usually Asperger's/ autism spectrum). DD actually does not focus to the point of obsession, although she has been accused of being on the spectrum for other reasons (social issues). She reads almost all of the time outside of school but has only ever asked for extra instruction in math, which we have given her and encouraged her to continue with. But we have been following her lead all along. I feel the same way you describe that it sometimes seems like she may be squandering her potential (although she is only going into 5th grade), but I honestly have never personally seen pushing a kid work in a long-term, positive way--it always seems to backfire at some point and leave the kid with an even worse attitude than it seems like they might otherwise have had, sometimes with disastrous results such as the kids I met in college whose parents had pushed them to get into a program they couldn't keep up with. I can't speak to Mana's example (and I am glad there are some), but you might want to look at some of the Tiger Mom/Parent threads and discussions to get more perspective on that. I guess it does work for some kids, but it seems like for most it doesn't--the motivation has to come from within or it will not last. I think gentle encouragement and providing opportunities is the best approach, and it sounds like you are already doing a great job at that, so I would encourage you to be patient and remember that you are doing the best for your kid that you can--and try to relax and enjoy their childhood because that's the one thing you know will not last
Whatever you decide, best of luck!
