Oh-- one more recommendation. With a particularly wily/socially intelligent perfectionist, they will resort to incredibly manipulative methods to continue the behavior or take it underground and lure parents (and other adults) to cooperate in this schema.
The Manipulative Child. I know I've mentioned this book here before, but it pegged many of the feedback loops that my DD had established with us. Breaking those paradigms was really key to uncovering just how far down the perfectionism ran, and we had to do that before we could understand what to do about it, and where the boundaries are between the perfectionism and the rest of who/what DD is.
(It's a bit akin to separating the addiction from an addict. Same phenomenon. You have to determine when it's the dysfunction talking, and when it's the person, and when it's some chimera of the two.)
