I wouldn't assume that the school has done a lot of testing (although you might know for sure, since you have a child at the school). Our school doesn't test everyone until 2nd or 3rd grade (you can be tested before, but only if identified). I have zero experience with ADD, but one of my sons flew well under the radar due to apraxia. His difficulties writing made timed tests very hard, and his spontaneous reading made understanding phonics slow at first (he never had to sound it out). His (lack of) fluency ensured he qualified for the special reading program, even though he read incredibly advanced books. He had an aide in K and 1 and received OT and PT through 3rd. He just got off his IEP in 7th, and I am just fully beginning to accept that everyone at school thinks he's gifted. He was initially identified in 2nd grade, but it took several years before I think everyone really believed it. It took a while at the MS for me to realize I didn't have to "defend" his intelligence.
I completely understand that you care for your neighbor and don't want her to get scammed, which is admirable, but I think this is something she'll need to figure out on her own. I'm sure her sharing will die down (at least I hope it will) but right now she's probably just really excited to consider that her daughter is possibly gifted after the mom has watched her struggling with school.
