There is no cookie-cutter set of goals to choose from. Everything in an IEP is need-driven, based on what has been found in the school's official evaluation. If they try to give you something cookie-cutter that doesn't fit your kid, e.g. "this is what we do for kids on the autism spectrum," don't let them-- the I in IEP stands for "individual" and they are obligated to give this particular outlier an "appropriate" education. (Never say "best"-- say "appropriate.")
I'd make a list of things to address by looking at
(a) how he does in group situations now, with peers, following directions, and self-control; make a list all the "soft skills" for school that are probably not in place
(b) the state standards for kindergarten and where he stands in relation to them (the standards often include both academic things and social/emotional things like cooperation that can be worked on in an IEP).
Some schools will let you specify differentiated instruction or other gifted accommodations in an IEP; some won't. Ours doesn't officially but it has been part of every IEP process since 2nd grade to figure out how to address the giftedness, because DS behaves better when it's all addressed properly. This was not possible in K, when we were just trying to get an IEP into place.
If your DS qualifies for speech or other services, those can best be scheduled at times when the class is doing something that he already knows. That's one reason to have the academics on the table.
Our DS made the best gains when special ed services were pushed into the classroom, rather than having him pulled out. (Pullouts are sometimes necessary to teach a skill-- but skills must also be reinforced in the classroom so that they become part of the skill set the child has in all settings.) We needed someone to take data on what classroom behaviors he had not yet mastered, devise strategies for teaching and reinforcing those behaviors, and carry out the plan to mastery. We always had our private ABA therapy team come to IEP meetings and often had them taking supplementary data at school and helping devise these plans, because that way our home and school programs stayed in sync, and the school appreciated the expert help.
Look into "behavior plans" or "behavior intervention plans." My DS definitely needed one, and the school was very slow to put one in place. This document, supplementary to the IEP, protects a child who flees or acts out by specifying what triggers this kind of behavior and what steps the school must take to prevent it or cope with it if it happens.
Does that help? If you specify what you think is needed, I can brainstorm some more.
DeeDee
