I try to keep myself grounded, or centered. Sports are a fun past-time, nothing more, really. Intelligence is not the be-all, end-all, either. Academic achievement is certainly not. Precocity does not mean all that much in the end. Children develop at different rates, have different interests, have different amazing gifts to offer the world. I have found if I keep all of this in perspective I have no problems in these conversations. Personally, I would not bring DD's reading or math skills up in a conversation, but if it comes up, I do not feel uncomfortable, and it has always been well-recieved. It is just matter-of-fact.
ITA. I also would add one thing - I've found that the easiest way to have "easy" conversations with other parents is to be genuinely interested and excited about their children.
I also think there are two types of conversation we're talking about here, which are very different. One is focusing on sharing joy (or bragging rights) in our children's accomplishments, the other is being able to talk about issues our high-IQ kids face in school etc - the types of things that we as parents talk about with other parents (like we do here).
Re the type of conversation which falls under "sharing the joy" - I'm not sure of the age of the OP's child or the age of the other children at the birthday party, but fwiw I've found that I am around less bragging by other parents the older my children get. When my kids were in preschool and early elementary I heard a lot of what I'd categorize as parents who were living vicariously through their children - I don't mean that in a bad way, but the achievements of their children made them very proud, and some parents liked to boast/brag about those things which made them (parents) proud. This wasn't just true of sports, but of academics and other things too. For instance, one of my children is really into athletics - and for every team or group she was a part of when she was starting out, there was inevitably at least 1-2 parents who were convinced their child was headed to the Olympics or whatever, or was simply outspoken about how wonderful their child was. In early elementary school, quite a large number of the parents I talked to on the playground etc were really focused on getting their children id'd as gifted and getting enrichment. As my children got older, and as all the kids started finding their own passions and strengths etc as well as started developing more of their own individuality and going through those stages that all kids go through where they gradually become more and more independent of their parents, a lot of those conversations where parents were feeling proud by bragging about their kids faded away. And another thing happened too - I found that as my own kids began to achieve their own set of things to be proud of - parents who cared about them started complementing *them* (my kids). My ds recently received an academic award, and he absolutely was complemented quite a bit, other parents of other kids we know were very proud of him (for him).
polarbear
