You've independently discovered something here that's formally taught to people who deal with children that have been subjected to traumatic experiences. These children will often relax their guard and open up in situations where they don't have to confront eye contact. Driving is a specific example given. Art projects or other activities that keep the hands busy and the eyes away will also do.
how cool this is really a
thing! thanks so much, Dude, for telling me about that!
i just realized something - my kid is
so in tune with the expectations of others... i think she may have simply been loath to worry me too much. when we factored out the eye contact, she would no longer have to deal with the emotions she might find on
my face and could focus solely on her own thoughts.
it's worked so well - it's been like kicking over a rotten piece of wood and seeing what's living underneath... she's had a really terrible year, which we are now equipped to make sure we don't repeat!
