I am in a dare need of similar experiences since I have no idea what to do. I am also frustrated as I don’t even know how to precisely describe an issue. Sorry, it will be a very long post…
My DD7 just turned 7 and in a second grade (skipped 1 year). She is a cheerful, "happy-at-school" child. For as long as I can remember she would refuse to discuss, tell, explain anything about her feelings, emotions, even anything as simple as “how was your day/what did you do during the day”...
Whatever your say/ask the answer would be “good” and “great”. Since she was a baby I encouraged open ended questions (when she doesn’t have a choice to answer simply yes/no) yet she manages to describe anything in two words - good or great. I am exaggerating but not really. She seems to talk nonstop about immediate things (“mom look at me all the time”) but mum when it comes to “please share your opinion/feelings”. I would be surprised by other people’s knowledge about what is going on in schools and how much they know about my child and I am yet to hear from her about her day/friend/likes and dislikes.
It comes to small things as simple as her breakfast… She would never say what would she like for breakfast or if she likes my cooking or not… I can guess by amount of leftovers if it was good or bad and make a mental note about it. If I ask she would simply say (as you can guess) It was good Mommy, thank you…
Don’t get me wrong if she doesn’t want to do/eat something – she would not do so by any means but in a subtle way that you wouldn’t even acknowledge until later… It seems like there is so much under this happy surface that I get a glimpse of once and while when she asks one of her questions out of the blue… She would ask these questions, take in an answer and if it is to her satisfaction – mum after that. When I pressure her into tell me about her day it will sound as “in the morning we had seat work, after that I played with so and so”. This is as descriptive as it gets…
I guess I was like this is as well when I was a child, when all of my emotions were inside and I was “all over” happy child. I made an assumptions that it was my parents who really did not encourage much of a sharing but it doesn’t look like it now, since I had my DD…. I am at lost as to is it my fault? Her personality? Should I worry? How can I ensure she will share if she needs help? I am monitoring her very closely for signs of stress/discomfort (through her drawings, writing, play, etc.) and nothing alarming but since she is getting older I want to make sure I give her what she wants and what is needed by her but it is hard to do what she is not verbally expressing her needs/likes/wants…
