I agree that in such situations you do need to make the school understand that you are persistent, well-informed and that you are going to hold them to the letter of the law. At least, that worked for us when we were advocating for DD's 504. They actually assumed I had a lawyer because of all the legal information I had amassed wink

Just last night I was reading something which may be helpful to you: http://print.ditd.org/Guidebook1.pdf

It's important to keep a professional demeanor and to document everything. Verbal exchanges can be documented using "letters of understanding" but all official requests you make should be dated and in writing.