We have been there.
Our process most looks like "deliberate sabotage," where we have systematically put little, then big challenges into the mix so that DS learns that he can manage them. This can be as small as buying a different brand of bread, or "running out" of his favorite snack. Even if some of these challenges result in meltdowns, afterward we have debriefed and he is able to agree that yes, he's still alive even though he didn't get X, not getting X did not result in serious harm, and he lived to tell the tale. In the short term this is extremely exhausting, but over time it does yield more resilience.
You can also have HIM address his list of concerns. Look at restaurants nearby and make a food plan; or plan what he feels he would like to have with him. If he is prone to car-sickness, let him make a plan for dealing with that. Having a plan for the things you're afraid of can make a big thing feel less like an emergency, and more like a situation to be managed. If he won't talk it through, you may have to demo this process by making that list yourself within his earshot the first few times, but then gradually work up to having him do his own troubleshooting. Having an action plan can be very calming.
Our DS also found it helpful to study statistics and learn to distinguish between likely and unlikely scenarios. Your DS's concerns sound more focused on personal safety than on weather/natural disasters, so the action plan is probably the first line to take.
I definitely wouldn't cave to anxiety by cancelling the trip.
I hope it all goes well,
DeeDee
p.s. Do you have professional help for treating the anxiety more generally? An SSRI can make a world of difference, allowing a child to access behavioral treatments for anxiety...
Last edited by DeeDee; 03/21/13 06:50 AM.
