This is exactly what I am dealing with on an on-going basis. I have a daughter in 7th grade. I am sure she meets some of the criteria of Aspergers and this has come up since she was very young - most recently 2 weeks ago with a new psychiatrist. The problem I have is that the criteria is so broad, and for every characteristic I can check "yes" to I can think of an example where the exact opposite was true. It is also frustrating not to know how her intelligence and introversion plays into her nature, particularly with her impatience and intolerance with others, especially other middle-schoolers. She already has a dx of ADHD. Reading James Webb's 'Misdiagnosis' a bit I see dd in the pages - like ADHD with intellectual, imaginational, and sensorial OEs. At this point, I am working to accept the grey area. DH is adamant that no label will be applied to her. I think it is unfortunate that this label would likely be used to define everything about a person rather than a way to understand her and give her the tools she needs to navigate the social world comfortably. For example, she is highly intelligent solely as a by-product of Aspergers, not vice-versa, or gifted with Aspergers. This is something that was implied by the psychiatrist.
Hils, I guess that this isn't an definitive answer to your question. Unfortunately, that is why it is so "grey." I think that professionals come with their own bias and will apply that bias. Of course, right now the tool they use is the DSM, and therefore what is defined in the DSM is what they see. There is no DSM diagnosis of giftedness that would take in to account the theories in James Webb's book, so they can't apply criteria to "choose" between giftedness and "other." Since DSM criteria is broad and interpretation of behaviors is based upon each professionals subjective experience and limited interactions with each patient, the giving of a dx seems to be discretionary and that makes it hard to accept. If you are looking for your own dc, the best you can do is learn what you can, get to know your child, find a professional that can connect with your child, and do the best with the information you have.
Discussion along the lines of this topic - with people much more knowledgeable than I am - is in the thread "Gifted Should Not Be Considered a Disorder."
Last edited by skysunsea; 03/17/13 07:09 AM.