Hi everyone! I've been lurking here for a few months, but this is my first post. First, a brief background. My son E is 7yo and in 2nd grade at public school; we live in California. E has never been tested or formerly identified as gifted, but my husband is gifted and our school principal thinks he is. E is certainly a bright kid, and he has many of the non-intellectual characteristics I've read about (very intense, big emotions, sensitive to things like seams in his socks, sometimes loud noises, for example). He reads at a 4th/5th grade level, and his math is about 3rd/4th grade.
E didn't have a great year in 1st grade; he didn't get along with his teacher, but he mostly stayed out of trouble. This year he started off great (with a different teacher), but as the months go on the situation has deteriorated. He gets sent to the principal's office frequently (multiple times a week), has become defiant in class, refuses to do much of his work (both in class and in the office), and is a huge disruption.
We have yet to find a method of discipline that works for longer than a few days. Being sent to the office is no longer a deterrent, and being suspended for a day had no effect. The principal has outright said that E doesn't fit in, and have we considered other alternatives. Unfortunately, private school isn't an option, and I really don't want to homeschool (leaving that as a last resort).
I believe E is incredibly bored and gets in trouble as an amusing alternative to sitting and listening or doing stuff he has no interest in. He has a strong desire to invent a teleporter, and has told me multiple times that nothing they're teaching him at school can help him. He says he doesn't know why he does the stuff he does, and feels he has no control over that aspect of his life.
E now has a 504 plan, even though he has no identified disability other than "disruptive." His plan allows him to miss nearly half of the school day so I can teach him at home. The hope was that if he didn't have to put up with a bulk of the lessons he most hates (language arts is the big one), he'd be able to pull it together for the rest of the day. So far we've had mixed results, but he's still being sent to the office frequently.
I had another meeting with the principal yesterday, who again reiterated that E does not seem to want to be at school, and what did I think I should do about this. The unspoken message is that they don't want him there. I asked that he be given a comprehensive evaluation by the school, to try to figure out why he's not fitting in. She responded that since E was doing well academically (all S and S+ grades), he didn't meet the criteria for a school evaluation. My argument is that I can't take him out of school, and that I want to exhaust every possibility the school can give us. She agreed to talk to the school psychologist and give me the papers to start the process.
I have a formal meeting on Friday, and I need some ideas to present. I only have a vague idea of what our options and rights are at the school, and I'm concerned that I won't make a good case for E.
Thank you for reading my very long post. The past couple of months have been hell, and I know that I am trying to fit a kid into a system that is not equipped or willing to handle him. Any insights at all would be most appreciated!
