master of none-
just a thought b/c i do have an older dtr...
and keeping in mind i don't know your family umm dynamics? dating rules, what's allowed etc
i am wondering, since i do not know your DD age, but knowing that if she is old enough to date- i am wondering if perhaps it is more the physical side of a relationship the boy wanted and your DD was unable to reciprocate? because she is younger...
the boy saying she wasn't "worldly enough" well--- one boy said that about my DD when she wasn't ready.
did i just make any sense???
my DD had issues like this- she was the guys match on many levels but being just enough younger that she wasn't ready for what he had in mind...
hopefully you and your DD have a great open relationship where you can both freely speak to one another and that even if this was an issue, your DD would be able to discuss with you...
(and tell the guy to take a flyin leap! she's too good for him!
;)~
I'm guessing that this was for me? My DD is 13-- nearly 13.5, and she's physically very
small-- but very definitely looks like a teenager... and she definitely attracts attention. She isn't at "dating" by any means, and she is okay with that. She's VERY much intimidated by anything in the way of overt sexuality between herself and anyone else, which is as it should be. This is the reason why the first boyfriend got told to take a hike, (though if he'd been an intellectual peer she might have tried harder to fix things).
She can easily pass for 15 or 16 when she makes the effort; she's
gorgeous. I'm really not kidding. I don't
think that this was the basis of the problem between these two particular kids, since I think that neither one of them is at that kind of place (and yes, my DD is pretty open with me about this). It seems to mostly be that he's less socially mature than she is, in some respects... he kept sending a lot of signals that said "we should be more than friends" and when she finally reciprocated, he basically told her that he found it incredibly AMUSING that she'd think he liked her "that way," since he sees her as more or less "a little sister"-- but not before kind of making it a matter of public spectacle among their social circle. That is the kiss of death with my DD, who is
very private. Evidently, he still doesn't feel that he has anything to apologize to her over, and he's annoyed that she's now backed off and is being
completely platonic toward him (and, not coincidentally, a whole lot less cozy with him-- the better to send the social message that she IS NOT-NOT-NOT "his" in any sense of the word). He's still trying to figure out what the heck happened, and she's still seething that he apparently wanted her for a "girlfriend" but didn't want to ADMIT that, or call it that... Every single person who knows the two of them (adults and peers alike) would have bet cold hard cash that there was something going on betweeen them. Which there was-- it just wasn't simple or easily categorized.
The two of them were a codependent match made in hell, anyway-- she's a viciously driven INWARDLY directed perfectionist with altruistic leanings and major Florence Nightingale syndrome, and he's... well, a fairly arrogant but naive/sheltered outwardly directed perfectionist with no social skills, little social standing (there's a shock), and a touch of controlling manipulator. It's just as well, really.
And yes, while she's my kid? She
is too
good for him. In every way. I'd overlook that, but he's been pretty awful to her and it is no longer a healthy relationship for her.
