Originally Posted by HowlerKarma
I can still recall how sheepish I felt when in graduate school, I hit an O-chem exam out of the park (like, 96% raw score, which is insanely good for this class)... and my DH, our later best man, and a couple of our other close friends were all in this class together...

I wanted to sink into the floor when they found out that I was the one who had earned that 96. The mean was 68 on that exam. I felt AWFUL. blush And everyone involved was clearly an adult with little to prove at that point. We were all "smart like that."

I would have felt good since I did so well. We clearly have different personalities. In high school chemistry class my (male) friend and I were far ahead of the class. What kept us motivated was seeing who would get a higher score on each test. Why should schools be geared to non-competitive personalities rather than competitive ones? Maybe this another argument for school choice, so that schools can better match the personalities of students and parents.

Many people oppose gifted programs and ability grouping because the children not selected for the gifted program or the "top track" will feel bad. Our middle school no longer publishes an honor roll for this reason, and many high schools have discontinued class ranks or made them almost meaningless by not weighting honors and AP classes. The desire to spare students' feelings can be taken too far.