Does it have to be all or nothing? Why not let him stay home on days he finds it unbearable? My ds went through the same thing and I didn't understand it at the time. But once we had testing, I realized how inappropriate the classroom setting was for him.
I started letting him stay home occasionally and he's felt much better about going. (I call him in "sick.") He only uses his stay-home option once or twice a month. He recharges by learning something at home and then he can face school again. My son actually likes school even though he finds it boring and slow. He likes the other kids and PE, art and music.
