Hi Dbat--
I can see why she's hard to diagnose, yet I can also see where it would be beneficial to have school actively and systematically working on these issues, which probably only will come with an IEP.
The social misunderstandings tend to get worse approaching teenagerhood, where the rules become less black/white and other kids get more subtle; if you can get help in addressing this in the elementary years, it's a good idea.
I know what you mean about the manipulation/gaming. In my DS's case it's not so much that he sets out to be manipulative; it's just that what he wants is so much more present in his mind than what we or teachers want that it sometimes takes a big effort for him to stay on track.
DeeDee
