YMMV, of course, but I found "You're so smart" comments to be horribly isolating, not head-swelling. It's like they put me on a pedestal to get rid of me. I would have done almost anything to avoid them.
It also quickly led me to believe that anyone who said these things had no idea what they were talking about, since they were blown away by the things I wasn't working at. I guess disrespecting them could come off as swollen headed- but it has a different origin. I don't think I'm remarkably smart, just that they are remarkably unperceptive. In the end, acknowledging how much I was different from others and finding a few peers is what made it possible for me to be generous to most people.
Just my personal experience.
ETA: I think it's related to considering the source. The smartest people I knew thought I was normal to underachieving, so that's how I saw myself. I also really craved the feeling of normalcy - I would have resisted anything that said I wasn't when I finally found peers.
Last edited by ljoy; 10/08/12 12:25 PM.
