I am so unsure about both topics- discipline and messing my kids up. However I don't trust any of the people who think they've got it completely figured out any better than I trust myself. I do like hearing what other people have figured out so I can sift through it, eat the bones spit out the meat.
I fluctuate, and I prefer those times when it gels and I nail it perfectly. Short of that I just prefer that the struggling parts get over quickly so we can get back to normal because I'm pretty happy with normal. I'm pretty sure I'll mess my kids up some, and so will life, and so will they themselves. I'm also sure they'll be fine.
If you want to know about the sharing specifically, the boy has nice stuff in his room- a drumset, a computer, toy soldiers, nice break able stuff. I keep his door shut. He has toys that the girl could play with without breaking- stuffed animals, cars; I stop him from taking stuff away from his sister. I tell him, "You keep your stuff in your room and keep your door closed. If she gets ahold of your stuff you have to let her play with it. Keep it away from her. Take care of your stuff." Bonus: his toys aren't all over my livingroom, although the baby's still are. I'll have this talk with her in a couple of years. This, I've been told is extremely un-AP, that I do things a certain way for my own convienience. Yes, if I'm going to keep my kids with me all the time, then yes, I am going to do things for my convienence. It's not my call to make, but if I have my kids with me almost all the time I think that's pretty attached. I carry my babies long after they can and should walk so they're literrally attached, poor things. Like my husband... he goes to work and then he comes home to his family. I would call that attachment parenting if I could literally define it. Spend all your time and energy on your family. I'm not even sure that's the best way either. Too much time togeather leads to more arguements all around. More arguements lead to better understanding and more tolerance. Can you tell this is not black and white or even gray to me?My overall acting hypothasis is that I should try to focus on adding more good into it as much as possible and spend less energy trying to deal with the bad parts. The bad parts are a constant and you can't pretend they don't exist. But, they say, whatever you feed grows. Happy Halloween.
