I am doing everything by email to have it all in writing so we are communicating.

I might end up what DS4's OT recommended as a worst case scenario ...put him in a regular preschool (one of those 3 times a week for 2 hours) where he'll most likely get thrown out for disrupting and not following rules and simply being too much to handle ... and then go back to the school district explaining that he can't function in a normal preschool setting. ... she said she has clients who had to go that route to get somewhere with the school district! lol