DS8 and DS4 both have summer birthdays. We've gone back and forth on this subject. Initially, my intent was to have DS8 start kindergarten at 6- a decision based on research I'd read about boys of summer. He was enrolled in a Montessori and after two years of preschool his teachers advised we let him go ahead and start K at 5. This decision was based largely on his academic performance and since he would still be in a class with 3 & 4 year olds I didn't worry too much about him being the youngest.
Fast forward to first grade where he was the youngest in a three year class (1st-3rd). His immaturity in organization skills, work habits, attention span and handwriting started leading to struggles. He was doing above level work but at below level speed. Thats when we heard the first murmurs of attention disorders. I decided it was just a matter of him starting 1st grade too soon and at his teacher's advice had him repeat 1st grade with all 2nd grade (and up) work. Differentiation in a Montessori is pretty easy to do so we didn't feel like this was going to cause him to suffer at all.
Halfway through his second year of 1st grade, we started hearing that attention word again. DS was capable of doing high level work but was just not attending or showing any self direction. On a day when he was expected to complete 4 works, he would often do 1. I felt like we'd adjusted for age and still he seemed the least mature of his class. And on top of it all, he hated school now. Finally, at the direction of the school,we went to Vanderbilt for testing this summer.
What we learned was the DS was very gifted, had an excellent working memory (141) which (along with other tests) blasted those ADHD suspicions right out of the water, and was really a perfectly "normal" gifted kid. We were given some ideas to help engage him (project work- letting him dig deeper into works to satisfy his need for more) and are working with the school to get him back to liking school.
What I learned through all of this is that he internalized both his sense that he was different with the fact that he was held back in 1st grade as him being "less than.". Although we had told him was just being adjusted for age and although he'd done all his lessons and work at a higher grade level he felt stupid. I don't know if redshirting him at a younger age might have been better but it was certainly a flop the way we did it. Now we are left pondering how best to clean up our mess.
Really- this has been a long winded way to tell you I don't know what I'd do in your shoes. But maybe you can take something from our experience as you decide what to do.
