Thanks so much for your response. I've been back and forth so much on this issue all morning. I think I'm going a bit nuts.
The stubbornness - I don't know if that is related to the giftedness or just part of his personality. He can be very focused and very specific about what he wants and how he wants to do something. It can make him difficult at times, for sure. We started using this "system" called 1-2-3 magic that has really worked well with him for discipline at home. So his behavior is now pretty good at home, but still a challenge outside of home. But he is quickly growing up and I see his behavior improving all the time.
You know, he is so young... it is really hard to say just "how gifted" he is. His pediatrician and a psychologist have both told us that he is exceptionally intelligent. He had to take a brief ESP screening to qualify for this school, and we were told he hit the score ceiling. So, yes, it is possible he is more gifted than the average kid at this school (who are all supposed to be gifted) but he is so young it's really hard to say.
You've given me same great ideas for questions. If he was held back to the 3/4 room, how would they accommodate him? And might he skip 4/5 and go straight to K next year? Great questions!
We do plan to keep him at this school if we like it. Since we are a new family, we haven't fully formed our opinions on the place yet. That is another concern I have. If we decided we didn't like the school or it isn't worth the price tag and we wanted to move him to public school, I hate to think of him being a year behind where he should be.
At this age and at this time, I am not really worried about his academics. I want him to learn how to have a positive experience in school, make friends, learn to follow instructions. Academically and intellectually - well, he's only just turned four and plus he learns a lot on his own and enjoys pursuing his own interests (like his space obsession).
So while 3/4 might work OK for this school year, I just worry about how this decision will impact him next year, or 4 years from now... KWIM? Also he absolutely loves his class, his teachers, his friends. He seems so excited about all of it. I'd hate to put out that fire by sending him to another class where he may or may not be as enthusiastic.
Sorry to babble so much. My husband and I are just really struggling with how to think about this.
