It seems to me that this disorder can take many forms. For me it started in kindergarten when I was humiliated in front of the class because of my poor handwriting at age 7. (1960). Then as a teenager, I always struggled with all written assignments. I didn't have a clue about punctuation and my written vocabulary was way below my oral abilities. I couldn't put my thoughts into sentences and anything I wrote was in short childlike sentences. I just littered my writing with commas. Instructions to put capital letters at the beginning of a sentence and a full stop at the end were completely meaningless as I had no idea whether I had reached the end of a sentence or not. My work was always returned to me covered in red corrections and low marks. I was always none the wiser as to what I had done wrong to deserve such criticism.
What had started as a child�s writing handicap became a complete phobia. Eventually the whole process of writing filled me with dread. Writing thank you letters on Christmas Day ruined the festivities every year. My mother insisted that this was done immediately and I froze in panic at the thought. The same happened on holiday when they said I must send postcards to friends and relatives.
Despite my poor performance in English I excelled in Maths and went on to a prestigious university to study architecture. Being a technical subject, I thought I would somehow get through it. However, the fear of every written piece of work caused so much anxiety I ended up dropping out of university altogether. The college gave me three attempts but to no avail I just could not deal with the extreme anxiety and complete mental blocks.
After that I went to a technical school and qualified as an architectural technician which enabled me to work and earn my living but the prospect of a graduate level job seemed completely out of reach. However, with the advent of word processors and computers I returned to university to study computer science and this time gained a first class degree. I still struggle with writing but using a computer has helped enormously.
Recently, I was offered promotion at work but it would have involved writing to clients everyday. I had to decline the promotion with some lame excuse because I still can�t tell my employer the truth. It still isn�t acceptable for a grown adult to admit to not being able to write letters. Loads of people say that they can�t do maths but admitting to not being able to do written tasks is a complete no-no. I believe that if this disorder had been recognised all those years ago I might have got the help that I needed but then I was just considered lazy and incompetent. May be I would have been able to pursue the career I had wanted if people had understood this problem. I still don't believe that colleges and universities really recognise this as the crippling disability that it is.
