I personally would be very hesitant to put a kid who was truly struggling to produce grade-level material with similar-aged kids working two grades up. Particularly in a class with two similar-aged kids working two grades up - in a group of 3, you have a high likelihood that two of the kids will bond and exclude the third, and "we're working on the same classwork" is a huge bond.
My DD9 is probably capable of producing 6th grade classwork in a one-on-one tutoring situation, and would probably love it. I'd be hesitant to put her in that school, just because the dynamic of 3 is so bad.
My main social concern is that ds will not connect with either of these students. My ds is very outgoing, never met a stranger, and really enjoys being with other kids. The other two have more social issues than my ds. One is described as shy, and the other, which we've met and socialized with, is a little "quirkier". I saw a lot of parallel play during our play date (why do I hate that phrase?), and ds kept coming to me not knowing what to do to engage the boy. He's a sweet kid, probably profoundly gifted, more globally than my son. My ds is highly gifted in certain areas and struggles in others.
Now, that's not to say my son is great socially either. But, his challenges are more related to his ADHD (impulsiveness, interrupting, blurting out answers, emotional overreactions). These things aren't out of control, but they occur often enough to be noticeable to typical peers.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Alexsmom. Given that the other two students are more alike in age, grade level, and personality, it stands to reason they would pair off. Something to think about for sure.
