I also think it would be helpful for you to seek advice from someone familiar with gifted kids and also with 2e issues. It seems like it can be very hard to sort out, even though I guess in some cases the methods of addressing the issues can be the same. We went to a non-specialist this year and ended up with a bunch of labels (ODD, ADHD, Aspergers) that we are now trying to work through and maybe get 'removed' or at least refined by another specialist (lest future teachers and schools be horrified by the number of labels)--a very long, time-consuming, and expensive process. The Davidson site has a number of helpful articles on this that maybe you're already familiar with; I found this one yesterday and it's like a checklist for our DD (about what if the 2nd e is emotional?)
http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/Articles_id_10438.aspxSorry I don't have anything useful to say about anxiety, but it sounds like you already are pretty well informed. Our DD has also gotten more sensitive over time, but mostly it's foods that she used to eat but now won't (whittling the total number down to about five) and clothes that she used to wear but now won't (muumuus only, please!). I hope you can find a solution for your son--it must be very frustrating for him to feel that way.
I am not an expert, but I think in most instances the diagnoses include the proviso that the behaviors interfere with normal life activity (which I guess is sometimes interpreted pretty broadly--such as annoying your teacher), and sometimes that that happens in more than one setting (e.g., school and home). It sounds like he's feeling this way all the time, but can he put it aside and focus on other tasks sometimes? I think that might be a line of thought to pursue.
Best of luck,
Dbat
