I think that you *can't* both bully proof your kid and not violate a zero tolerance policy, so I recommend throwing out the zero tolerance policy.
I agree with this part, but I'm not an expert in these matters. And I doubt anyone will give me a vote in this one. Have your read 'Rash?'
***
I think that with legs spread wide, and arms in 'halt' position, that
STOP. DO NOT HIT ME.
Could be very effective. It's more about the tone of voice and posture than the words. It's interesting that La Tex's advice is exactly the same that I got from a wise mom with older children when my son was about 8. I could never convince my son to try it, so I don't have a real datapoint. My hunch is that any kid who was well trained by about age 4 to react in this way would probably not have an opportunity to find out if it worked. So much in life is not the words, but the nonverbals.
G
