Calming at bedtime before going to sleep? I remember when DD12 was small and couldn't/wouldn't sleep... Sometimes she'd refuse to even 'though we could see she was exhausted. Maybe this is the case with your child?
Usually, in my experience with DD12, reading helped. Especially adventure picture books, with long words: kind of lulled her. Singing is good, too - not just baby songs. Ballads: she used to love Fairport Convention songs and sometimes her dad would play a music tape.
This is more an answer to question 2: Cryallnight maybe has bad dreams... much of the time, I don't know as she's not very verbal. The name is in fact ironic, although it's true that when she cries she won't stop. Walking up and down with her in my arms talking to her about my day helps her - and me... Not sure how old your tot is, so maybe this isn't an option, but I'd say reading and singing are always good...
