I talked to my adult daughter who remembers not fitting in and feeling shy around other kids, especially after changing schools. The new school had a lot of kids in it who had a lot more money to spend on clothes than she did. The other girls could afford to do a lot more things like cheerleading classes and vacations. My daughter, who learned to read in preschool, had done very well in school until we moved and at the new school none of this mattered. She was an outsider. A smart girl without the right clothes and the right friends was a nobody at this school. She got really depressed because she was bored and had to stay home a lot because we couldn't afford to do much. This lasted about a year. That was one very long year for her, but then she found a friend. Her new friend didn't have money either, but they had things in common. They were both smart and attractive. They started shopping together and it was like they developed their own style with their limited budgets. They looked better than the girls with money. The rich girls were copying their style. My daughter learned how to do the things cheerleaders learned in classes in our front yard until we could afford the classes and she didn't take very many before she tried out for cheerleader the next year and made it. She became very social. School was not important any more. Being in the top social group was. Fifteen years later she and her best friend are still not married because they have too much fun traveling and enjoying life. They only date guys who are wealthy. Most of their friends are married to doctors. My daughter is dating a millionaire. None of this seemed possible the year she was an outsider. I am the outsider when I visit her world. I don't wear the right clothes or the right hairstyle. I am just her mom and I am happy for her.
My daughter talks to her little brother every day about her life experiences and he does the same. He tells her things that he does not tell me. She doesn't think he needs to see a therapist. She thinks he is handling the brace as well as anyone possibly could. It hurts. He can't do much in it. What could a therapist do to make this any better for him? He knows he won't have to wear the brace forever, probably just another year or two (until he stops growing) and after that he will be able to do more. She talks to him about all the fun things he will be able to do when he no longer has to wear the brace. I think this is what gives him hope that his life will get better. She says he is a lot like her and that he would be very social if he had a chance. He does not have that chance here. She thinks living in a small town with nothing to do and not having a friend with common interests is his biggest problem and that he will be fine when he can move away from here. She says the town we live in is depressing.
