- The ability of the child to take no for an answer. Because sometimes no matter how good the argument, she's still not going to be happy about it, because she has an emotional investment in getting what she wants. So once the discussion has played out and there's nothing useful in talking about it anymore, it's time to end the discussion.
and for some kids, the time to end the discussion is right at the begining, because they do have low ability to take no for an answer. I don't think that most of our children need to be rewarded and encouraged to be 'negotiators' - they have enough natural talent for their age and emotional maturity. Depends on the kid, depends on the parent, depends on the circumstance. If I had a spouse that was likely to make random premature judgements, maybe I'd want a no 'because I said so' rule, but I am the kind of person who becomes less articulate when stressed, and there are many times that I have to say to both DH and DS, "I have a gut feeling about this, and I can't explain it - we just have to do it my way at this time."
Isn't that ironic, since I'm so articulate here? But really I'm a big picture thinking, and there are a lot of times when I have no idea in the world how I got to a particular conclusion - but experience has shown that I really need to trust my gut even when the emotional heat is turned up and I've gone detail-blind and dumb.
I'm sure you've seen your kid clam up when asked 'So how did you get your answer' at least once, so you know that we all have parts of our wisdom and knowledge that aren't word accesable.
Hope that helps,
Grinity
