I'm still trying to sort out the difference for Butter between not listening and not hearing.
There are other options besides these.
Our DS9 had trouble learning that an instruction made to a group applied to him. This was fundamentally a social skills deficit; he just didn't see himself as part of the group. We have had to work hard on "checking in" and staying checked in.
In addition, as Aculady said, an instruction given indirectly ("class, we're on page 46"-- with no explicit direction about what to do about that) was completely incomprehensible to him. (You can imagine him thinking "so? you're on page 46, what does that have to do with me?")
We have had some similar frustrations in other settings where it was apparent to me, after the fact, that it WAS indeed a matter of perception or communication...ie a difference between "Are you coming to guitar class" and "Are you going to PLAY guitar with us today?" To the adult in charge, these statements were the same, to Butter, they are vastly different.
Yes, that's the sort of thing I'm getting at. Implicit language was lost on my DS for quite a long time.
Like if you ask her to change tasks, she sometimes seems confused as to how to stop one thing and move to the other. Again, at home, not a problem, but like, if her hands are already full and you say "Now we are picking up trash," she doesn't always get the implication that she needs to put down the stuff in her hands first.
FWIW, difficulty with this kind of transition, and the issues you and I outlined above, go together as part of Asperger's in my DS. And yes, people often mistake them for attitude when they're a genuine processing problem.
I know you had an eval recently-- did you discuss any of this with the tester?
Agreeing with Grinity-- you're seeing something that's not just a school problem here, and IMO these issues are worth working on.
DeeDee
