I consider myself strict, but in our case, what we were doing for 3 years was obviously just not working. Near the end of last year, I vowed to stop yelling and try to keep myself really calm and that really worked at home and with homework, but I have NEVER been able to MAKE Butter do something at school that she didn't want to. She certainly was disciplined for both not completing work as well as poor behavior choices/actions at home, but I often wondering what the heck the school was doing? If THEY are not happy with her behavior, I think THEY need to address it. I did what I could at home, but nothing seemed to help.
Now we are homeschooling and I let it be Butter's choice. The guitar, they actually suggest 4th grade (9yo), but they let 3rds try this year and the ones doing it are fairly mature and interested. I let it be her choice in the beginning and I warned her that paying me back if she quit was going to be the consequence. Honestly, this is a HUGE step in the right direction, as far as I am concerned. And I can SEE that, while I need to at least make her THINK it's her choice (and it can be a lot of the time), I also need to pressure her some. That pressuring her, just a little, says "I think you can do more, I believe in you." In fact, someone else here suggested that to me, that Butter was underperforming BECAUSE I had never put pressure on her.
Is this good for every kid? Probably not. But...if your kid is bringing home straight A's on everything with minimal effort, I say you owe it to them to provide *some* sort of challenge. It doesn't have to be academically...it can be creatively or physically, even better actually...but diamonds are made from pressure on coal
