I remember refusing to do chalkboards full of arithmetic problems in first grade because I already knew how to do them. (or any other work my DD feels like not doing) Over the next several years, I learned to keep my head down, hide my book under the desk, retain the last sentence spoken by the teacher in short-term memory without actually listening, stare at the teacher while daydreaming, do my homework during the roll call, and count to three before asking a question to give everyone else a chance to answer.
My adviser in graduate school said I didn't want to bother with things I didn't think were important, and he was right about that, too. When I got my MA just in time for the tech bubble to burst and the job market to tank in the last recession before this, my host wanted me to wear pantyhose to interviews. I remember thinking that any boss who cared whether I wore pantyhose wasn't a boss I wanted to work for. And that distaste for jumping through hoops, I developed while coasting in school.
When we talk about underachievement, we never seem to say that gifted kids often do not get good grades or good jobs because they do not recognize report card grades, GPA, or a high salary as a valid measure of achievement. And that's part of what coasting does to you, too.
My DD is only EIGHT and is ALREADY like this! Except she hasn't learned to keep her head down and the other kids notice her reading, so she gets in trouble for it, when she is probably turning to books to keep herself from acting out more *sigh*
We have tried SO MANY reward/consequence systems and nothing ever seems to make a difference. My DD seems to be completely INTERNALLY motivated, by what, I don't exactly know...but her current interest in "brain games" shows me that she enjoys challenging HERSELF and looks only to herself for that need to be filled, leaving her contemptuous and disrespectful of a person whose JOB IT IS to challenge her and TEACH her things. How is she supposed to react if she feels NO (or very little) new information is being presented? What a sad life my child is living right now, to not feel the joy of discovery, the excitmement of sharing something fascinating with peers...
Life shouldn't be a coast. It should be filled with highs and lows, excitement, sorrow, joy, disappointment. Even the painful things teach you something. The middle of the stream is safe, but boring. And if she goes to regular school, she spends the majority of time there, where is she supposed to fill herself with the other things that make her complete? If you are used to coasting, what do you do when you hit the rapids? I want my DD prepared for that. Olympic athletes don't coast...they challenge themselves and stretch and practice and grow. My child is getting NONE of that with these DISMAL standards and, what's more, is being held back, told to not work ahead or shine too hard academically because it might make others feel bad...
That's what coasting is doing to our family, right now
