ok so...today, DD8 tells me she doesn't want to finish the 8 week guitar class she's in...they are about halfway through. But I think it's good for her, the teacher has a great philosophy about them stretching their brains, even if they aren't very "good". I ask her why and she says the teacher goes too fast, they only learned one "real" song. I think what's really going on is that it's not super easy, that she's not coasting. Even though she has great fine motor control, she's only 8 and the smallest kid BY FAR, so it's harder for her to handle even the kid size guitars they use...
So, I told her that I (and her dad) would be disappointed if she just quit. It was her decision, but if she quit, I was going to make her pay me back the $40 it cost...or she could go and try her best every week until it was over and never have to do it again. She agonized over it for a while, then told me she decided to finish the course. I saw the teacher after class and told him what happened and he said that she had a total different attitude today, she was engaged and paying attention, and she got to sit in the first seat a couple of times today. I relayed the teacher's compliments and told her how proud I was of her decision AND to hear that she had tried her best today. I don't *need* her to be a guitar star, but if she wants extra opportunities, I expect her to try her hardest.
I think it all hit home...and that's why it's not ok to coast...coasting can lead to giving up before you have a chance to really discover something...coasting can set up a situation, like I see in my DD, that when a new thing is finally challenging, she often gives up beofre she really tries, gets emotional about it, lets perfectionism stop her from even trying...
Coasting put her in a place where she didn't trust or respect the teachers at school and she is ONLY EIGHT!!!
