Hi Aculady, thanks for your concern. True, parenthood does not have to equal plummeting cognitive skills, but my mix of circumstances may be a bit different: I have been a stay at home mom for five years with children very close together who are both sensory seeking with ADHD like symptoms who both appear to be gifted (the youngest has had testing yet). My husband was traveling so much and I had no family to help with babysitting and no time away from my children and have not slept through the night in years due to children waking me, add to this that after the birth of my second child three years ago, my hormones basically went into turmoil (yes, I went to the doctor for this) and I had to make a decision how to treat them weighing the pros and cons. My DD5 is highly gifted verbally with extreme extroversion and I actually think both of us would be happier if she went to school more than a couple hours, but there are not other options right now and the school is educating her so far below her level that more hours would be torture for her so I am doing some home schooling for her, but even that is tough because she sings all her answers in what I call her show tunes voice (which sounds cute, but can be a bit much)can't stop moving,humming, tapping pencils,using fake accents to discuss things,ask questions, and wants to interact with me all 14 hours she is awake and with me if she isn't at school for 2.5 hours.

I try to set up as many opportunities as possible for her to be with other children so she can direct energy towards them, but believe it or not, it isn't always easy to find playmates. She is popular with other students, but we do not have young neighbors so I have to go through their parents to arrange something and little Jane and Johnny are busy with swimming lessons, ballet, karate, baseball, and who knows what else. They also tend to live in neighborhoods with built in playmates so aren't as in need of trucking their kid to another part of town just to play or setting things up in advance. My DD5 does have one good friend and she does come over frequently, but my DD5 is actually frustrated with her since she can be tempermental etc. The more she can be around other children and the more she will have learning activities outside of the home, the better.

My three year old also sleeps very little, is highly active, and has daily inconsolable tantrums. She is sweet and smart too, but when she gets set off, she goes off the deep end easily. I am just riding it out though since I went through this with the older DD and she is better so I see a light at the end of the tunnel.

As I am typing this, my oldest is right by me talking non stop even though I have asked her to wait, and making animal noises. The sun isn't even up yet. THIS is why my mind may not be as clear with children. Prior to children, I didn't hear wild animal noises all day esp. at five in the morning etc. After evaluations, I have been told she is "just gifted, creative, and active" and not ADHD and no longer needs OT. This may be true, but wow, the past years were intense with her and her her little sister is still in the middle of the difficult toddler / preschooler years.

Now that my oldest goes to kindergarten two and a half hours and my three year old is in pre k for a few hours, I am actually starting to feel better. I actually hid (slept where she wouldn't come to me) on my three year old the night before as mean as that felt, so that she was forced to go to my husband in her nightly wakeups because I was so in need of sleep. I had been up since three am for the day for a week straight due to her sleeping issues and was feeling awful. My children require very little sleep, constant interaction / conversation, and never appear tired! I can blame my genetics since I have always been up early, but now with the sleep deprivation and lack of alone time, my brain cannot take all that noise so early and at such a constant rate.

I watch other people's children and most of them seem as though their knobs are set at a much quieter setting so they require so much less from what I can see. I do see kids more out of control and appreciate that my girls do well in structured settings. The listen well and educational "classes" pay attention when read to or reading, and can focus for a long time on drawing or crafts etc. On the up side, one thing that is contributing to my feeling better is that my DD5 has made a huge leap in development so that what looked like ADHD / sensory seeking is mellowing out. She is doing fine in school and thrives on structure. When she is alone she is suddenly so much more mature. Her gross motor skills and self care are so much better too. She is evening out in some ways and that will allow me to clear my head. There is a way to go though that is for sure. My three year old has always been advanced with self help and motor skills and not as intense, so even though she is three, she is becoming more manageable so I predict my brain mush may lessen over the coming years.

I made decisions to put some of my needs on hold for my children and am not resentful. I'm just trying to figure out how to get back to some of my needs now that they are a little older. I had no intention of writing all this, but so be it.