Maybe you need to re-examine your definition of success. In all honesty, I don't see a high GPA for its own sake as a particularly worthy goal or a real accomplishment, and certainly not something that you should allow to drain meaning out of your life.
What would give you purpose in life? Can you find a way to attain your goals? If a career change is difficult for financial reasons, can you start small and do something outside of work for a few hours a week that will make you feel good?
Just wondering: you sound very unhappy. Do you need help from a therapist another neutral person you can talk to honestly
Oh, I had given up on the GPA thing a long time ago. I just didn't have anything to replace it with. Once I realized that I wasn't going to "win" college, I basically gave up on life.
That's how I ended up in law school, since you get still get into a good law school with (relatively) poor grades. What's kind of amusing is that my grades went directly down as college progressed. My first semester was a 3.75, whereas I was actually getting Ds and Fs at the very end.
I don't actually *have* any objectives or goals. In fact, I don't even know "who I am" so to speak nor do I have the faintest idea what I want to go do with myself. And, I'm permanently depressed and angry, although not nearly like I was during the time from about I was about 17 to 26. I never adjusted in any way to the college (or law school) environment.
Actually being forced to be at a job or get fired provided some stability that was lacking when I basically did nothing for all those years.
I'm not sure how therapy would help. I suspect that some sort of physical exercise would probably be more beneficial. That and figuring out how exactly you form adult friendships. I live in my wife's hometown, where I basically know no one.
