Grinity, yes, my experience with grade skips was... not entirely negative (I think I would have hit the wall on social issues in middle school anyway, with the combination of playing mostly with boys and with that brand of shyness that comes across as being aloof), but not entirely positive either: it didn't do what it was supposed to do for me re. interesting work. And the WM/executive functioning issues in my son were there aplenty for me too.
Eh, my parents did the best they could in that time and place. Which doesn't mean I don't want to try and do better for my own kids, starting with the problem child, of course. On the plus side my husband is the driven, type A, borderline OCD type, so if I manage to channel his energies right (not working quite right for now) my son will be set for success (his father is the one who finally got him reading last year -- me I was all "isn't he supposed to pick it up on his own? what do you mean kids need to WORK on their reading skills??").
Re. social issues (and I probably need to move this to the 2E forum), public school, too late to change classroom assignments, and the school already worked hard to make sure that kids with issues that interact explosively with each other (with my son as a star member of that particular pack) were separated. I will work on playdates -- I organized many last year with that girl, but am still a bit bummed that the other mom didn't take the initiative on anything. I started wondering if she thought my child was a bad influence on her daughter ??? But I'll keep it in mind for next year.
I also need to ask teachers (not only his, but everybody who gets a chance to observe him on the playground) how many of his reports on new friends/kids he doesn't like are grounded in reality and how many stem from his lack of understanding of social cues. He has been labeled at risk for both bullying and being bullied. For the latter the therapist who leads the new (and very instructive group) said that AS kids tend to be attracted to bullies, who are often putting an act in their interactions with their targets and so provide very clear, exaggerated social cues. That was eye opening. For the latter... He seems to be slooooooowly getting a better grip on his temper, and his physical awkwardness (always bumping into things and people) seems to be slooooooowly improving too.
