I know a fair number of you tested as gifted when you were younger. What does the gifted label mean to you, now, as an adult?
I've been thinking a bit about this and it is actually bothering me a bit, because according to my mom, I missed the cut off for the gifted program by 2 points. So, I guess I'm not gifted?
I've been throwing around the idea of taking the test for Mensa, and DH thinks I'm silly and wants no part of it. I feel like I don't want to join unless DH wants to join and can qualify.
I'm embarrassed to say I actually took their official online home test and got a score back saying I would likely qualify. I don't know if the home test is accurate. DH definitely has some gifted traits, but he does not share my love of analyzing everything.
Anyway, I had a truly horrible school experience. There are whole sections of my life that I seem to have blocked out. Old friends of mine and my family sometimes mention certain things and I vaguely recognize what they are talking about, but most of the time I have no recollection. My sister is convinced I've just repressed half of it. I had cancer as a teenager, so I know why that part is blocked out.
A few years ago, I started reading some of the gifted literature, and it was an "Aha!" moment for me. Everything they talked about was how I was as a child and how I felt most of the time. I finally had an explanation for why I never fit in, why my peers didn't like me and could never put their finger on exactly why, and why my friends regularly told me I was "too much", and made me feel bad about it.
(I use to attribute half of it to getting "INTP" on a personality test, but those tests aren't supposed to be accurate, anyway. lol)
Anyway, I feel lonely sometimes, but DH doesn't understand and I feel silly bringing it up. I need to have "deep" discussions once in awhile, but I have no one to talk to except people in online forums. There was one guy my DH was friends with when he was in the military. He didn't fit in, either, and people thought he was "odd" and "antisocial."
I completely understood him, and when I had to go to drinking parties (beer pong does not excite me), he and I would sit in a corner somewhere and end up having amazing meaning of life type conversations. I even called him on the phone, once, when I had to go to a party that he wasn't at.
But... I'm not gifted. I'm also obviously not outside of some sort of "optimal range" for fitting in. So I don't have a "reason" for all the years of agonizing over not fitting in, or having issues at school, or even for my inability now to choose just one interest to focus on.
I have no "excuse" for my intensity. I'm just "too much" and have a hard time finding friends. I only have a handful, and they are scattered around the country because I moved a lot after high school.
DH (my ENFP lol) gets along with most people and even though he never had a best friend growing up, he moved a lot and never experienced the bullying or things that I did. He doesn't really understand why I keep reading about giftedness or why I care. I don't even know why I care.
DD is definitely more advanced than other babies her age right now and that might also be dragging it up for me. And... I keep coming back to this forum.
