Cricket, does she know that she is working harder than others do at things like reading, and if so, what explanation does she make for herself? Does she see that she's struggling, or not?
That's a challenge b/c she probably doesn't feel like she's working harder than the avg person but she does feel like she's working harder than the average gifted person. It is coupled with having a HG+ older sister who is grade accelerated and simply doesn't have to work hard at all at the things that dd10 struggles with.
She, like you mentioned, seems to be chalking it up to being not gifted b/c she isn't like the gifted people she knows -- me, dd12, other family members, a few other kids from school. What I worry, and see somewhat, is that she'll come to the same conclusion her dad has: that she is stupid. Dh constantly says things like, "why am I so *#%*#@! stupid?!" His self image sucks, he's terribly pessimistic and generally unpleasant to be around not infrequently.
You could also level with her about what her test scores are and what they mean; if you think she's prepared for that kind of reasoning.
We have and she has bought the line that she was fed by her 3rd grade teacher over and over that she is just a good guesser. She thinks that I am lying to her or being an elitist jerk who thinks that my kids are smart even if it isn't true.
She is rejecting both the ADD dx and the gifted label. She thinks that both are baloney. The problem with that is that she doesn't fit happily with average people either. She seems to be going the route of thinking that she is average but that there is also just something wrong with her b/c she doesn't fit with anyone. I really wish that I had other HG 2e people for her to know other than her dad, who isn't a good role model for dealing with that, and one other child who has totally different exceptionalities and who she would never want to ally herself with in her mind b/c he is very socially awkward whereas dd is a social butterfly -- a lonely in a crowd social butterfly, but one who knows how to work the crowd and is horrified by behaving in a manner that makes one stand out.
She's also at a tough age-- nobody wants to be different at 12 or 13.
Just to clarify, she's not quite 11 yet. She'll be 11 in a little under two months. She's been a bit of a teenager in terms of what a challenge she is for some time though!
