I'm just wondering whether the fact that your district has a system for subject accelerating is maybe stopping you and the teachers considering other options. For example, DS7's now got into a steady pattern that works (fingers crossed!) of doing his own maths sent in by me alongside his peers doing sums. For him, this is, I'm sure, a better solution than sending him to any other class - even if there was a class doing work at the right level (which there isn't) the pace would be wrong and the content would be wrong (IMO a strong mathematician needs far more time spent on problem-solving than school has time for in the usual curriculum at any level).
I do realise that this wouldn't help with finding peers (something DS doesn't seem bothered by at present) but possibly it might be worth considering? A way to play it might be to have her take the test as for maths acceleration, and then instead of accepting the acceleration ask for the chance to set her her own work in 4th grade next year. Since she'd then be a 4th grader who'd already demonstrated mastery of 4th grade maths, school might buy it, and maybe A's mama might be more comfortable with this than with acceleration? It would also give you a chance to let A pick her own challenge level in at least that subject, which might help.
FWIW if you can find something for maths that cuts WAY down on the repetition I bet that'd be good for her. TBH I'm coming to think that DS7 doesn't need repetition at all for school level maths, and in fact I am even wondering why we think anyone does, beyond arithmetic. Things go best for DS7 if every question is at least slightly different from anything he's ever seen before, and I've come to think, well, why not? I think switching off is often the only self-defence mechanism someone has in the face of unneeded repetition, but it's a really dangerous habit; it would be better if she didn't need to do it.
I don't really understand the boy thing - why is it that she finds the boys annoying? Do you understand that?
Her homeschool plan had maths, discussed, harder reading (and you have a plan for that), hands-on science (which you can do, or do more, at home at the weekends, maybe?) and harder spellings. Why harder spellings? How is spelling done such that too-easy spellings are a problem rather than a no-op? Can you change that?
