Hi - not sure if this is a gifted issue, or a bad parenting issue, but here's my thought. My DS4 has tested at AE 8.6. I am wondering if this somehow makes it OK to bring him to see the latest Indiana Jones movie. I was reading the movie reviews online on some of the sites that talk about appropriateness of movies for kids, and many comments I read said the movie's OK for kids 8+ if your kid isn't going to be afraid of the various spooky things in the movie (killer ants crawling in a mouth and dragging a man into their anthill, skeletons, some shooting, etc). DS has been begging to see the movie, and I think this is one of those movies worthwhile to see on the big screen. I read to him all the descriptions of the horrible things that happen, and explained that it's going to look real and it's scarier to really see something like that, and (of course) he insists he wouldn't be scared. (And he's not scared by skeletons and such.)

Am I just being a ridiculous parent, even thinking I could bring my 4-and-a-half-year-old to this? Am I using a "gifted issue" because I just want to bring my kid to the movie? Would appreciate thoughts, especially from anyone who has seen the movie.

I don't think this is a parenting issue or a GT issue really. I think this is really more of a kid's personality issue. I have a friend who has taken her kids to all the Star Wars movies and all the other action adventure type movies since they were tiny and they have never gotten scared. My DS10, on the other hand, was scared of Dumbo and the Lion King when he was 1 and 2 years old. He kept seeing possible ramifications of events in the movie, that although they didn't happen, freaked him out a bit. I don't think I will let him see the newest Narnia movie even now (I've heard it is very intense) and probably not the Indiana Jones movie either (until they are on DVD anyway) but that is about how I know he is, not about his being GT or not GT. His imagination runs too wild and he can't keep with what is actually happening in the movie, but rather with what he thinks might happen, which is apparently awful!!!

So I'd say, you know your child and you know what he can handle. I haven't seen the movie but I've heard it is somewhat intense. Maybe others can help you with the actual content.

I know I'm too young to go and I'm ten times his age! LOL.

I took DS to see the first Pirates of the Carribean movie when he was 7 because people told me it would be fine for kids and because we actually knew someone in it. But as a family we don't watch TV and rarely go to movies and both he and I were on sensory overload for several hours afterwards--we had a hard time shaking the images and a hard time getting to sleep. DH was fine.

So I think it matters if your child is easily overwhelmed by sensory stimuli, if there are things in his life that allow him to be desensitized, if he is likely to get images "stuck" in his head etc.

Thanks - I like your answer. I will not cloak it in terms of gifted anymore. My child is not very sensitive (which always made me wonder before he was tested for giftedness whether he really was gifted!) And he says all the time "I like being scared!" So maybe we'll just tell him we can leave the movie if it gets too scary, and check it out.

I guess we're a roller-coaster loving family! DS has seen some of the Star Wars stuff, and wasn't scared.

I think the only sensory stimuli that overwhelms DS is if his clothes get wet - even a drop of water will make him freak out and immediately remove the offending article. (And since it's festival time, now it's happening in crowds, much to my chagrin.) But that's a whole other post...

Sigh....I have a scene from a movie I watched in my late teens, early 20s stuck in my head. The memory recently resurfaced for some reason. Anyone know how to purge memory banks - except for using illegal drugs? I'm sooooooo sensitive to movies and so is my DS.

I think it's a child personality issue.

I am just reading the Spark (by Dr. Ratey) book recommended by someone on this forum (sorry - can't find the post). It suggests that you can "rewire" your brain concerning some things, using exercise, but I'm not very far along in the book, and don't know if anything can be done about memories. It's a great book, though.

I do have a problem with crying at the end of movies, which DS4 thinks is odd, since I sometimes cry even when the ending is happy.

Yay! I'll use "Dottie says..." again! I think I could easily bring DS4 to a Lord of the Rings movie, but not DH! I remember we saw the first one, and I glanced over at DH, who was snoring...

I will throw in my 2 cents here since DS7 has seen the Harry Potter movies, the star wars movies, Pirates, Indiana Jones, and some other probably equally inappropriate movies. Many before kindergarten!

I do think it is a combination of personality, sensitivity, attention span, ability to follow the story formula that just varies kid by kid. My husband and I don't watch any TV, but we do love movies. Actually right now we're watching the series Buffy the Vampire Slayer on DVD, which is the first TV series we've tried. Of course DS wants in on that action too now!

We're going to see Indiana Jones tomorrow for my birthday.

I'm with kimck. With kids spanning 6-13, the 6 year old ends up watching programs that may have been inappropriate for the 1st or 2nd kid at the same age, primarily so that we can all watch as a family. We try to avoid graphic violence, sex, and profanity. PG-13 or lower for DS9 & DS6. DS-12 & 13 are allowed to watch some R if we're there and assuming it's not just gratuitous sex or violence.

Kimck, if you like DVD sets for TV programs without commercials, I'll tell you our favorites over time (not necessarily in order):

LOST
Heroes (we Love this, though it's a little scary/suspense)
Veronica Mars
The Unit (boys & weapons)
Intelligence (the kids were not as mesmerized, but it's excellent)
Firefly (kids Loved this and the movie Serenity)

It makes us sound like we're TV addicts, but we really just watch one program a night and they're shorter than movies (usually about 45 minutes). The continuity is great (we don't have to wait a week to find out what happens--just the next night).

Oh - I forgot about Firefly and Serenity! We absolutely loved those. That's what got us onto Buffy (also by Joss Whedon). I never thought Buffy would interest me, but it is very clever and fun series.

Thanks for the suggestions! They sound right up our alley. And it is much better being able to watch them without commercials 1 episode at a time.

I agree that this is more about sensitivity and personality than anything else. DD is very sensitive and at age 9 she quakes at Star Wars movies. DS, on the other hand, begs for that kind of thing.

Thanks for all the great comments, everyone. And happy birthday Kimck!

I am going to admit here and now that I am a TV addict, and am just starting to learn that there are people "out there" who are not! (Although my biggest TV watching occurred during law school, when I was "reading" my assignments. I never could have made it through law school without 90210 and melrose place.)

A little late, but, Happy Birthday Kimck!

Hey - thanks everyone! I can show my true geekiness here by saying my DS7 gave me the Indiana Jones lego video game for my birthday. Let's just say, he's very excited about it too.

I also got an ipod touch! I've never even had a simple ipod, so I'm very excited. I also got some jewelry and some books. Huge haul for me! Not to mention we actually have a babysitter tonight. Excuse my tangent.

I was a total TV junkie in college. I was always watching something when I was doing homework. Now we're just DVD junkies!

I was always really disappointed that Buffy didn't win an Emmy because I thought it was the best-written show on TV at the time. Smart, clever, funny, always surprising, dramatic without taking itself too seriously...I think it's the only TV show whose end I ever really mourned. I still miss it.

Glad you discovered it, and happy birthday!

Wow - you're really spoiled for your bday, aren't you - babysitter too! That darn lego video game (well, the commercial anyway) is why DS is begging to see indiana jones movie. I'm still avoiding buying any video games that aren't educational - see I have some boundaries! This will last until I get that civ 4 game for DH...

Oh, yes! You're toast then! Civ 4 cannot be resisted, I'm afraid.

LOL, This is a timely topic. DS watched the first IJ movie on DVD a few weeks ago and loved it until people started turning into dust. Now he is sure he DOES NOT want to see anymore for a long time. However, he adores playing the new Lego's Video game with DH. We haven't figured out his triggers yet for what he can handle and what he can't. Transformers, Harry Potter, Narnia (both -although I did not like how the adapted the story for Caspian) have all been fine. But that 1 scene in Indana Jones really freaked him out. He also got a bit upset by National Treasure and Ice Age recently.

So SPG did you see the Indiana Jones movie? And if so, how did your DS do?

Also, I have to admit we bought the Lego Indiana Jones game the DAY it came out and it is great!!!!

Hi Dazy, I didn't want to ignore this because it happens to me all the time. Torture will cause me huge problems for years, even a hint of torture and it's in the brain totally stuck. There are a couple things that help. Mostly, I just don't got to movies anymore.

But I also realized that I would become frightened of getting images stuck and that this fear only made the helplessness worse. I told DS once that a stuck image is sort of like when you have food caught in your teeth. You have to work it with your tongue and it bugs you, but it can't actually hurt you. It is just annoying. Somehow seeing it that way has taken a lot of the power out of the experience for both of us. Part of the problem is the fear of it getting stuck; get rid of the fear and you are half way to sanity.

Eye movement desensitization reprogramming therapy may be helpful as well. It is used successfully for treatment of PTSD, a much much more serious situation in which memories get stuck unprocessed. Real EMDR is genuine therapy and should be done by someone who knows what they are doing. An EMDR therapist, though, told me I could do a version of it at home that might be helpful. She says to take a moment when the thought is at its peak an then move my eyes back and forth using the corners of my glasses as guides. This is more of distraction than true EMDR, but it may have the effect of un-sticking the memory a bit since eye movement is linked with memory processing in the brain (as in REM sleep).

Maybe this will help. If not take comfort in knowing you are not alone. Somehow I feel a little better knowing that someone else on this board knows what I go through!

We are also having a lot of fun with the Indiana Jones lego game. Very clever and fun!

Also really enjoyed the movie! I'd also love to hear how it went St. Pauli.

I decided to not take DS4 to see the indiana jones movie until we rent the other ones. If he can make it through them OK, then maybe we'll take him to the new one. My mom saw the movie yesterday, though, and thinks it would be too much for DS4 (and it was too scary for her). We'll see! The lego video game is probably a better bet.

thanks everyone for your advice on this one!

Great idea on watching the older ones. This one I did think was pretty intense with the newer special affects. Especially the man eating ants! If he does well with the older ones, the new one might be good on DVD. It's never quite as intense at home on the small screen.

Not to be a bad influence, but even DD newly 4 thinks the Indiana Jones video game is fun! The 2nd kid has especially gotten exposed to this kind of thing too early. I think we only had learning games when DS was her age.

Oh kim, those second ones definitely do things earlier don't they? My DS7 started video games about age 3 and I never would have considered that with this older brother!!! He's quite good at these games now I must admit, with much better hand eye coordination though I don't know for sure that the games had anything to do with that.

I'm glad you're enjoying spring where you are!! We've been having almost 100 degree temps so it's not feeling too spring like here!!!

Update: we watched the 1st indiana jones movie with DS4 tonight. He liked it. It helped that I told him ahead of time what sort of creepy thing was about to happen (I can't believe I can remember this movie so well!) The DVD had a special feature showing how they did the "melting face," which DS thought was pretty cool. I thought it would be good to see the technology behind the creepy parts, so he would better understand that movies are fake. One of the guys who worked on the melting face said, with extreme glee, "you'll have this memory in your head forever!" So, I feel for all of you who can't get the scary pictures out of your head, now that I know the creators of these images are intending just that.

We talked a bit about world wars too. I guess the benefit of the DVD is that you can discuss all this stuff as it happens without bothering the people sitting next to you.

That sounds great St. Pauli. He sounds a lot like my DS!

The picture I can't get out of my head is the one in Temple of Doom where one guy rips another guy's heart out of his chest. I remember being traumatized from that at the time and it is the only part of that movie I even remember. I haven't seen it again so I'd like to see it as an adult to see if it was really as awful as I remember (or if that is even what really happened). SPG do warn your DS about that one. <shudder>

I'm glad he enjoyed the technology behind the making of the movies. I need to let my kids see that too so they'll be prepared for the melting face part. Great idea!

It's pretty cartoonish, but definitely graphic, evil, etc.

See that is why I need to see it again. "Cartoonish" is not a word that comes to my mind when I think about that scene......

I'm thinking comic book style action...wham! squish! AAAAAA! <thump-thump>

Of course it took me years to get over seeing Nightmare on Elm Street. Years. I suppose that was cartoonish violence, too.

We saw it! DS4 did lean over once and whispered, with a grin, "this one is pretty scary!" But he loved it. I'm glad my instincts (that DS is not sensitive in this way) were right. I think it helps that he's seen probably every scooby doo episode ever made, and a lot of the things that happen in indiana jones movies also have happened in scooby doo, old and new. (I used to tease DS4 when he was watching a scooby doo episode that looked like they were doomed by saying "oh no! this is the end of scooby! no more scooby doo shows ever. Oh, wait, there are a million more scoobies. I guess he'll be ok.")

What surprised me is that reading the descriptions of what was going to happen ahead of time seemed scarier and creepier than the movie actually was for me. I was expecting a lot worse.

I will remember to warn DS about the pulling out of the heart -i remember that grossed me out. And DS definitely wants to see them - when I told him there were other indiana jones movies, he said "maybe it's on charter on demand" and we had to go home immediately and check. (no luck. will have to rent.)

That was the scariest movie to me, too. Someone who haunts your dreams...how do you escape that? (Of course, never getting sleep is my worst IRL nightmare, so that didn't help either!)

BTW, I read somewhere that around the age of 13 is the time kids are most sensitive to scary movies. Both before and after, things in movies supposedly bother them less. I can't tell you where I read it, so take it with a very large grain of salt, but I thought that was an interesting factoid.

Hm. Well, I was 15 at the time. My parents were po'ed that I was shown an R-rated movie on a school trip. One of the hazards of acceleration I guess.

Hmmm....I was 14 when I saw Temple. In fact I was thinking I was rather old to be that freaked out by it! Thanks Kriston for making me feel better!!! LOL!!!!

I have done a (highly!) informal poll whenever the topic of scary movies arises in casual conversation, and most people do seem to have been the most freaked out by movies they saw right around the 13-15 age range.

Of course, that might be just because that's the first time most kids are allowed to see the scary stuff...

Still, it makes some sense to me. You're old enough at that age to have some sense that the world isn't all sunshine and roses, but you're still young enough to feel that you have little control over what happens to you.

I figure that's why our GT kids are often so much more sensitive to stuff at a young age. When you understand more but have no more control over your life than the average kid, things can really seem scary, I suspect.

That whole trip caused something like PTSD. Immediately after watching Nightmare on Elm St. (which I laughed nervously at while I watched) we went outside and played capture the flag in the dark. It was like an adrenaline overdose for me or something. I was scared/excited anyway because I had never been away from home like that before.

I have been equally freaked out my whole life . The only difference now is that I am mature enough to gracefully get myself out of a situation where such movies or shows are being watched . When I was younger I was more likely to be peer-pressured into such viewings .

It is the pictures I have trouble with. I can't even handle TV news. I don't even like to read the news. But it's fine if I get news from the radio. I also work a lot with people who are dying and while sometimes sad, it never freaks me out at all. My problem comes with passively watching. Just how I'm wired, I guess.

I cannot even imagine going through that! In fact, I am quite sure that I would have spent the movie in the bathroom. As for capture the flag in the dark or the light, I always find an excuse to get out of it. Too bad I wasn't there, I could have been your excuse. "Sorry guys I can't go, my friend ACS is having a nervous breakdown just thinking about watching the movie--I'll have to tend to her!" LOL

I can't watch horror films, either. That commercial with the one that's out now with Liv Tyler freaks me out. My first scary movie moment that never went away was from Jaws. I can't imagine my parents took me to see it when it came out (i would have been 4 or 5), so i must have seen it on TV. Someone is scuba diving and a corpse pops up from inside a sunken boat - yikes!

I can cry at pretty much every movie too - things that are very sad or happy get to me. But adventure and ants crawling out of bad guys mouths don't get to me!

It took me decades to get over the shower scene from Psycho (was that the name of that movie?).

I too can't watch horror films, watch the news....I get these images in my head which won't leave or I just get so profoundly sad. I recall one time, my DH, then my boyfriend, went to the video store to rent Babe Pig in the City, which I wanted to watch. He came back with "Reservoir Dogs" by Quinton Tarantino. I was doing OK until the torture scene. At that point, I ran from the room crying "But I wanted to watch Babe Pig in the City!!!!!"

I'm just like that. I can't do horror films at all. My all time freakiest movie would be Silence of the Lambs. I can still get scared thinking about that movie! I will also start shedding tears at any emotional scene in a movie.

But action/adventure stuff does not bother me a bit!

It's almost like a horror show for me to read how young all of you were when some of these movies came out for the first time!!!!

Haha, it really doesn't bother me!

LOL OHG!!

Well, DS had an about face over the past week and decided that the only thing he wanted to do with his Dad on Father's Day was go to see the new Indiana Jones Movie. He did really well and didn't seem upset by any of it. We also do the how they make movie magic discussions. That was the ONLY way to get me through the movies as a child (hmm and maybe still :)).

The movie was entertaining but it would have overwhelmed me until my late teens I think. I have to say I'm with Indiana Jones when it comes to snakes...

I haven't read the replies, but I'll throw in my 2 cents.

Our DS saw Raiders of the Lost Ark about 6 months ago (at age 8) and he was a little scared during parts of it. However, I realized that the violence was beyond my comfort level for what *I* think is acceptable for him to watch. We're going to wait a few years to see any of the other Indy movies. The second movie in particular is super-gory (remember them lifting out the still-beating heart during the human sacrifice scene?!).

So, in our situation, our son might be perfectly fine to see gore and horror at age 8. But as his parent, I have decided to draw the line at a certain point, at least for the next several years.

My opinion about this sort of this has been forming for years, in part because he loves learning about ancient history and battles and is always begging to see movies like "Troy". My stance is that when a child reads about violence, they can choose (to a certain extent) how much detail to put into their mental picture of what is happening. But when they see the violence/gore in living color, that choice is taken from them, and they must see the scene as the film director wants them to see it. That vision may be too extreme for the child, and you may not know it until it's too late, so to speak.

I realize that I'm fairly conservative in this regard, and also on the low-media end of the spectrum, so take my opinion with that in mind.

Tara