Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school Completing things

How do you teach your kids to finish what they start?

DS#1 (4 years) comes up with these complex projects that he will work on for literally hours at a time, but will not finish them.

He will take a break if he has to go to sleep or to school and carry on the next day - over a few days even, but will never finish it!

Sometimes when I say "let's go work on x again" he will tell me that he will rather do it later or tomorrow.

It's a lifeskill I really feel he needs to have, and I am concerned as I think it extends to classwork as well. They have 3 tasks to do each day during work time, and he often tells me that he didn't finish the third one, or even the second one so didn't get to the third one. I don't know if he is just a slow worker or what it is, but it has me worried.

what do you do and how?

Hi Madoosa - great to see you here!
Here are my thoughts:

Age of 4 is too young to be concerned about this. Even age of 8 is quite young.
If you are feeling anxious - journal,blog, or post about what your previous experiences are that are pulling you in this direction.
*******
How do you judge if a project is finished? When here is a report written? When he has learned all he can from it at his present level? When he reaches his goal?
It is very common for some gifted kids to 'milk' a project for what it's worth to them and then loose interest, or hop from project to project.
*******
How long do these three tasks for school work take him to complete? Are we talking 3 2 minute tasks or 3 half hour tasks? Would it work for you to withhold the deliciousness of task #2 until he completed #1?
*******
I don't want to sound like I'm blaming you - how in the world are we supposed to know these things? It's not like we can ask our neighbors...that much is sure. Trial and error and observation.

For what it's worth, having a child who will work slowly and carefully is something to be very pleased with. There is a myth that all gifties are quick thinkers and speedy workers - that I believe gets less and less true as the LOG increases, particularly if the educational fit is good. ((Although I'm super quick and believe my LOG is very high, at least in certain areas ;-) ))

Love and More Love,
Grinity

My daughter has this trait - when is something finished? Answer: Never

I see this especially in writing. Her teacher has to put a limit on writing. She will keep writing unless someone stops her. We have limited this by paper (as in running out of) or the teacher telling her to end it.

We have had to teach her deadlines - she does care about her grade.

And we have lots of unfinished projects at home.

thanks for the responses! definitely food for thought!

but now have to go fetch aiden from pre school, so will post later.

thanks again!

so I have been thinking about this - thanks again for the responses, I think I just need to relax about it.

I have a meeting with his teacher at the end of March and will ask her then about how long they get for each project each day. (again today he mentioned that he only completed 2 of the 3)

Grinity - I don't think that they are offering tasks that would really interest him; He doesn't get to do the things that he is currently working on at home AFAIK.

they do have "fun boxes" - when a child is finished all their work they can choose something from the enrichment boxes to work on, but I have no idea what these even are for his current class. Guess that's the joy of not being as available thanks to a new baby.

So for now I will just relax on it and maybe get him a file or box to put all the incomplete projects into.

thanks again!

I love that idea! Even if he never goes in again - what a great keepsake! When he comes to you to worry that his future 4 year old isn't doing whatever, you can pull out the box and show him what he was doing /not doing at that age!

If the school isn't complaining, then I would just let the matter drop. If the tasks are really 'poor fit' I might ask if they can be improved a bit.

Somehow this is reminding me of a poster I saw the bathroom of an administrators office. A toddler leaning over on his junior potty. The caption read: The job isn't complete until the paper work is done!

Perhaps by teaching your son to file his projects when they no longer interest him, you ARE teaching him to 'finish' the job by filing them.

Smiles,
Grinity

haha love that slogan and love the spin you put on things

I will also chat to the school at our parent/teacher meeting later this month and see what they are doing. They usually make something - so it could be drawing, painting, cutting out, colouring in, glueing, doing a basic maze or dot to dot etc. They don't do actual maths sums or other writing or spelling - the things he is loving at home. But he is not saying he doesn't enjoy the school tasks, just that he has more fun learning at home...

Then he gets to write his name on it! (yayness).

You know, my son, and a lot of others, lost out on a lot of hand training at this age because the jobs were 'perfect' or 'interesting' enough. I think it's wonderful that your son isn't complaining and is getting the hours and hours of skill building that is probably just right for his physical needs. Plus he is having fun doing more intellectually challenging stuff at home - it sounds 'all good' to me.


Grinity