Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Can't focus because "too easy"

Last week, DS7's teacher sent a behavior report home that said that DS7 cannot focus on his work and also hums in the classroom when others are working quietly. From the tone of the report, she was obviously quite frustrated with DS7 when she wrote it.

DS7 admits he has trouble focusing in class. I asked him if he has trouble getting his work done in class. With no other prompt from me, he said the teacher gives him "17-page packets" and it's hard to do the work because he can do it "lickety split without thinking" so he gets distracted by the interesting things to look at in the classroom. I then asked if he gets disracted when he's doing differentiated work. He told me that he has to think when he does that, so he doesn't get distracted.

So, here's my issue. The teacher has provided some in-class differentiation, at our request. She also made a point of telling me sometime after her first differentiation effort that DS7 was the only one in the differentiated group who was unable to even start on the differentiated work -- he said he didn't understand what he was supposed to do, until she sat down with him and walked him through it. We've seen similar things at home: fear of starting the unknown because he might do something wrong, and not really be smart....

I am hoping someone might have some advice on getting these things across to the teacher. I get the impression recently that she thinks we're just some of those pushy parents who think their child is soooo smart. And, it's not that. I don't have test scores for DS7 yet (am still looking for a more economical way to get them before standardized testing in 3rd grade), and DS7 is certainly not the easy-to-spot gifted child that DS9 (DYS) is, but he is definitely beyond what they're doing in class. DS9 brought home his 3rd grade reading workbook (that DS9 has tested out of) and DS7 did some and said it was "soo easy."

So, any ideas on some very diplomatic ways of resolving this issue with the teacher? She's nice, and I believe she does have the children's best interests at heart. I've heard rumors that she's planning to retire this year or next, so I don't know how ambitious she feels about new ideas.

I don't have any advice, but your DS sounds like mine! They have a few times throughout the day where they are responsible for completing work on their own. He got in trouble for not finishing his "centers" (math & reading), but turns out he was spending too much time on what interested him - the computer! When I talked to him, it was the same reason. Either it was too easy and he was distracted, or he wouldn't start it because in his mind it was too difficult.

You're not alone!!

We have the same issue still with our almost 12 year old son. However, as I was reading this post. I realized that I am just as likely to put off the boring repetitive aspects of my job. I'm typing this while a data entry project stares me in the face. However, i did do all my analysis work and reporting that actually takes thought to complete.

Now, I'm thinking I should have more patience with our son. I can't imagine going back to 6-7 hours of boredom every day and getting the assignments completed correctly and on time.

I don't really know a solution. In our state we can request in school testing before grade 3. Is that an option for you? The downside is that it can take about 4 school months to get it completed. Are you seeing emotional side effects? This might be a way to get something done before that 3rd grade cut off.

Good Luck!

My prediction is that it's going to take a huge effort to change this teacher's actions. Are there any alternative settings (homeschooling/different school/subject acceleration/ gradeskip) to explore. In a way, it really doesn't seem 'fair' to ask a teacher to redesign a whole curriculum for one student, particularly if her curriculum is working for the vast majority of kids in the classroom. Of course, it isn't fair to ask a child of your son's age to face 17 pages of 'easy peasy' day after day after day.

At the very least you might try sending in your own assignments for your son to do during the day instead of the regular assignments...I have know families who 'homeschool' inside the school building by taking 100% responsibility for the worksheets. One thing to find out is to ask the teacher for next week's handouts, and create some 'harder handouts' that are similar enough (in some way) to the teacher's handouts that the teacher would allow a substitution - instead of an addition to the daily worksheets.

Good Luck,
Grinity

I don't think we are asking her to do something special just for DS7. There are 2-3 other kids above level in the class and when the teacher differentiates, this group does it together. The one thing DS7 seems to need is an explanation of expectations before starting something that is brand new. Apparently the other kids are OK without that. The teacher seems to equate that with DS not needing the differentiation.

At this point DH is opposed to HS and PS would require a move. We like the school particularly for the environment and have made headway on DS9's academics but we also know that through 2nd will be a struggle on the academic front. We are set to meet with the administration next month to discuss next year, so maybe we can use that as an avenue as well if we can't make progress with teacher before then.

Thanks for the replies!

1) Ask yourself if the current differentiated worksheets are really going to be in the readinesss level after a week or two. If yes,

2) Are you able to 'drop by' the classroom' every day for two weeks to go over the harder worksheets with DS? If so, tell the teacher that you understand that she believes that if DS were truly advanced, that he wouldn't need any extra support with the harder worksheets, but that you suspect that it's a matter of confidence, and that if she will cooperate and allow you to come by every day for 2 weeks for 0 minutes of support to provide that extra confidence that at the end of 2 weeks you and she can sit down and re-evaluate the situation and if DS still isn't able to work independently, you will see that you are wrong and she was right, and you'll leave it be with the easier sheets.

3) If you can't physically be in the classroom, then ask the teacher to send home the harder worksheets the night before so that you can review the directions with DS the night before. If the teacher seems unwilling, again try the 'wager' approach.

4) If the teacher is completely uncooperative, try hot housing - such as http://www.aleks.com/independenthttp://www.aleks.com/independent
with particular emphasis on providing support and scaling it back gently, so that DS has a chance to be frustrated with the process at home. DS may not want to do this at school because he knows that tantrums aren't allowed at school (or he may be aware that they have a high price socially that he doesn't want to pay) and he may actually REQUIRE a good old tantrum or two as he reverses his enforced underachievement. It's pretty monstrous to force a child to sit for hours and hours doing work that is 'way too easy' and sometimes the healing process from that hurt can be more noise than what school requires.

Then, after about 2 weeks of your son being able to face whatever it is that he needed to face, ask the teacher to let him try the harder worksheets again. You might even ask her for some 'already used' worksheets to send home so he can practice 'being brave' with you at home.

The behavior you seeing is very 'classic' for kids of a certain personality who have been enforced to work at levels far below their readiness level at school for a period of time.

Aleks offers a free 3 hour trial, so don't worry if it says that it starts at a '3rd grade level' just plow through and see how he does, ok? Say to yourself, I want to get to know my child as a learner.

Love and More Love,
Grinity

Hey, I totally understand how a certain personality type can get into tremendous trouble with "assigned" tasks when they are inappropriate (high need for autonomy, oppositional tendencies, high degree of confidence in their decision-making).

Couple that with perfectionism or a skewed sense of "smart" (and self-identity) = "just knowing it" (ie-- without study, effort, and certainly without ASKING FOR HELP... oh, the horrors... LOL);


well, you've got my daughter. She is 11, EG/PG, an honors virtual high school student who is filled with hormonally-fueled adolescent angst, and is perpetually either bored to tears with her coursework-- or afraid to ask for help that she ACTUALLY NEEDS. (The latter is a problem in mathematics sometimes, where she seems to think that "observation" is a route to mastery... and that when that fails, as it not surprisingly sometimes does in algebra and beyond, this is a clear example of a personal failing as a "smart person." )

I have no advice. But LOTS of sympathy. Let me put it this way:

all of this = epic power struggles at our house.

My daughter's preferred method of introducing challenge into her school life? Procrastination and civil disobedience.

About the procrastination; she spent last year's spring break completing <mumble-mumble> weeks of schoolwork. Okay, okay... it was about five weeks' worth. She did it in four days. With almost no discernable drop-off in quality.

So really, with the situation as it is (school's "GT" offerings, even with a 4 grade acceleration in play AS WELL, are simply unsuitable about 85%-90% of the time); it is tough for me to advocate that my DD should change her approach.

The problem is that when she gets that far behind, we feel like we can't "reward" her with enrichment activities and extracurricular "fun" stuff... since, you know, she has to learn that there are things that you do just because you HAVE to... but that means that we may spend months with every weekend devoted to hectoring DD into compliance, which she frequently resists with every fiber of her being. It is also the case that almost every single other person in DD's life begins to have KITTENS over "being behind like that" after she racks up a couple weeks' worth. Yes, I realize that for most students, this would be metaphorically suicidal... but I think that for DD, it's exhilirating to turn on the "panic mode" and drink from the firehose. Oh, sure... it may not be any more intellectually stimulating overall, but at least the RATE is more like what she's after. She would probably be perfectly happy to have taken a full year of algebra 1 in a three week "boot camp."

About civil disobedience: my darling little Ghandi, there, is a completely immovable force when she makes up her mind. "Nope. Not doing it." We've resorted to some pretty wacky tools of motivation when she goes there-- but from an adult perspective, it leaves us scratching our heads.

I mean, seriously?? A four paragraph essay about Anne Frank is your hill to die on, kid? REALLY? But that part of things is about pure rebellion related to the inappropriateness of the task itself.

Not asking for help when she needs it is related to the fact that so much has, for too long, been TOO EASY for her. We've always feared this particular facet of giftedness; that she would internalize that "easy" = "smart" and translate it to the converse. She most certainly has.

Anyway. Sorry. I seem to have hijacked your thread there for a moment.

All of that to say.... if we can't be an example, at least let us serve as a warning to others. Appropriate placement really IS that important for kids with this particular brew of personality characteristics.



Some other things to watch for in this particular blend of characteristics in a GT child:

• Goldilocks syndrome-- make sure that s/he has ample opportunity to BROADEN task tolerance so that s/he can begin to adjust to the idea of "doing" tasks that are too easy, and also tackling tasks where the outcome feels uncertain (they may initially feel "hard"),
• Try to modify your way of approaching discussions of what it means to "be smart" to reflect that smart people DO have to work very hard at hard tasks/subjects, and that "being smart" just means that one's brain is able to process information differently-- it still takes EFFORT sometimes, and that's okay and it certainly doesn't mean that a person "isn't gifted." Mostly, I think that our kids sometimes are terrified to admit when they need help, because they seem to come to regard "just knowing" already as normal in a learning environment. Long-term, that is a terrible thing.
• Finally, even grown-ups have to do things that are trivial/boring/uninteresting. A lot. It can help to prioritize what I know that I must do, and set myself a time to do it in, after which I will reward myself with self-selected activities for a period of time. I can also allow my daughter to have some of this sort of freedom, too. She MUST complete the work the school insists upon, but at that point, her day is her own. I have also agreed to help fund independent study materials for her, on the condition that her regular schoolwork needs to be completed with acceptable effort/grades.

Only a gifted child could be "bribed" to do schoolwork with the lure of more difficult educational materials. Crazy, but true.

Whew! HK, I'm exhausted just reading your post!

Thanks for the information/warning! I guess my worries aren't unfounded.

I wish you a battle-free weekend.

Are you my mother?

To answer the original post, no, you're not alone. I have the same thing with DS8 in 3rd grade. He has reached the pinnacle of boredom with the school year already, and complains daily about everything being too easy. Except his ALEKS math, in which he has reached the pinnacle of his current knowledge at the end of the 7th grade level (he did 3rd through 6th in an average of two weeks apiece and has been in 7th since Thanksgiving weekend) where he told me the other day that he "sat and did nothing because it was too hard". He has inherited that tendency from me, the belief that "easy = smart" and therefore "hard = stupid" and your smarts must have worn off. I've fought with that all my life and try valiantly to keep him from the same path, to no avail. We're a work in progress.

To add to this, yesterday DS7 asked to do EPGY which we haven't done in a while. We use it as afterschooling when there is time and DS wants to. I felt sad and frustrated watching him. DS freaked out during the math races. He was hyperventilating and cried during each session saying he would never be able to win. He doesn't have rapid recall of his math facts yet. You could feel his panic. I explained that he WOULD learn the math facts, that doing the math races frequently could help to learn them and that everyone needs practice to learn them. I also noted that when it came to a new concept, he would call me for help. I was cooking dinner and told him I could help but he would have to wait a minute or two. Each time, he then would replay the lecture and tell me he no longer needed my help. I guess I am seeing that we need to find more experiences like this for him so he can get some confidence.