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    Last edited by ultramarina; 01/23/23 09:47 PM.
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    You are wise to anticipate bumps. Hard to put into words but I had to keep telling myself....better he go through it now than away at college.


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    If you are making the change next september...You could try to going to some of the schools events during the rest of the school year. That would help her feel more familiar before school starts. If there are any camps this summer that would also help her get to know some kids before school starts. Do you know any other families at the school? Would she be open to some playdates?

    Academically...I would talk to her about what to expect so it's not a surprize. Let her know it's ok to make mistakes, that is apart of good learning.


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    I agree with onthegomom about trying to attend some of the new school's events this spring. That might also provide for more chances to walk around the school and get familiar with the settings. But, of course, those would be recommendations for anyone going to a new school.

    Specific to a grade skip, I would make sure that you are ready for the adjustment from always having the top grades and the top test scores. I know that, eventhough I was very pleased to have my child be more middle-of-the-pack, it did take me slightly aback when she wasn't at the very top. I had to remind myself that it was just a transitional phase. After some time your DD will likely work her way back up to the top of the pack, but it probably won't be at first. (BTW: It wasn't at all that I was upset with her not being at the top of the class, but more that it was merely new.)

    Another thing is to remind her that there will be times when a problem or two is difficult, but that that is how all her classmates have felt all along and that this is normal. I remember that we had a few times when my DD would encounter a problem she didn't know instantly and she would melt down. In her case it worked to let her feel the emotions, give her some space to calm down, and then help her with the problem later if she still didn't understand it.

    Even with the adjustments, we never questioned any of our skips. In the long run, challenge is a good thing, which you know since you've advocated so well for your DD.

    Last edited by mnmom23; 02/01/11 07:18 AM.

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    Last edited by ultramarina; 01/23/23 09:48 PM.
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    Specific to a grade skip, I would make sure that you are ready for the adjustment from always having the top grades and the top test scores. I know that, eventhough I was very pleased to have my child be more middle-of-the-pack, it did take me slightly aback when she wasn't at the very top.

    DS7 is finally(?) struggling here and there, and I think it's harder for me than for him. And that's saying a lot because he is very sensitive about not having everything come to him so easily.

    I'm glad, like Grinity said, we are facing this now and not waiting until college (which happened to me).

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    Last edited by ultramarina; 01/23/23 09:49 PM.
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    Originally Posted by ultramarina
    I think she thrives on being the best to some degree, in part because she feels subpar in other areas (not as many friends as some, slow runner, not good at athletics.

    yup, I was another parent who found out, after the fact, that I was a 'easy A' junkie. It passed, but it made me chuckle.

    Maybe work on social skills or athletics this semester. I wouldn't say aloud, time to shore up your self image in preparation for the skip, but I would do it.

    A great book is called 'Good Friends are Hard to Find.' You read it and train social skills in you DD.

    She might think it's ok to concentrate on being smart to compensate for slow running and poor social skills, but you don't have to agree with her.

    Love and More Love,
    Grinity


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    it's good for her to find out now that there will always be someone in this world better at something and worse at something, and you can't stake your self worth on it. Best to learn that now where you can support her and frame things in a supportive and nurturing way.

    Oh, I totally agree, and it's a big part of why we want to switch her. I don't mean to portray her as completely obsessed with comparison or being best. She has many, many things that make her happy that are not about any of this. However, her self-concept is a little weak in some areas and I think she does feel good about herself *in comparison to others* primarily in terms of academics.

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    Oh, FWIW, because there may be some confusion--we are not skipping her, but we ARE probably moving her to an all-day gifted school.


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