Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Need advice re: nephew

It's a scary thought, but I'm a teacher and I can say it... I'm beginning to wonder if schools are trying to hold kids back to beef up their achievement test scores? NCLB - don't get me started!

"can get rough in tag games, likes to dig in sand, parallel play, takes long time to do homework"

The thing that concerns me is the schools are so focused on the social thing. I'm reading into it that this statement is the main reason they want him held back. Just my opinion.

I'm guessing they feel he is too immature to progress and needs that extra year to catch up, common with ND boys.

The scary thing is you and I know he is a bright boy, probably rejecting his agemates because he is probably innapropriately placed in his grade....so much evidence points to giftedness being genetic and running in families.

I'd take Grinity's tack, go her course. I think that's the best plan with what they are dealing with.

Incog

O.K. Here�s some advice that I find difficult to follow regarding my son�s experience with teachers. Maybe you can give your bro an SIL this tidbit to possibly improve your nephew�s situation next year.

I assume that the answer from the parents will be NO! I would suggest they act as if they are grateful for the �concern� of these teachers and although they think retention would be too extreme a solution, they will ensure that they work with him over the summer to make certain he is well prepared by next fall for the increased challenges of 2nd grade.

If they can manage that without choking, their son will probably have less teacher prejudice directed towards him next year.

It would be interesting to know what the change was that made him slow down academically this year? Was he at a Montessori for kindergarten? Did he go from 0 to 2nd grade reading level in kindergarten, or was he reading before kindergarten?

Regardless, I don't really think there is any compelling reason to hold this little guy back at all! I love delbows response. And I still think a full assessment for him might be useful. Espeically if they're going to stick it out at this school he's at. They may need some ammo. I bet if he were 6 months older and doing the same thing academically and socially, they wouldn't try to pull this on him.

I second this, plus Grinity's advice.

I'm shaking my head at the whole fiasco! Ridiculous!

I can't thank you ladies enough for you candid thoughts. Its what I was thinking as well but figured since Im so close to the situation that outside advice would be great to get!

My bro and SIL do not want him held back. I am passing along all of your advice so that they can hopefully handle this the best way for their son.

Re: kimck's response:
"It would be interesting to know what the change was that made him slow down academically this year? Was he at a Montessori for kindergarten? Did he go from 0 to 2nd grade reading level in kindergarten, or was he reading before kindergarten?"

He was at a christian private school last year. They moved and he went to a charter school this year. It is concerning that he slowed down, even went backwards, academically after changing schools.

It is! I'm wondering what about that school, classroom, or teacher is not a good fit for him? It seems pretty obvious they don't "get" him and they aren't engaging him. The more I think about it, the weirder I think this is! Like why bring this up now in ambush format (instead of sooner) if it has been an ongoing issue? And why decide to hold back well before the end of the school year? 6 months is still an incredibly long time if you're a 5-8 year old. I really feel for his parents! You'll have to let us know how this turns out.

I have a friend whose daughter (now in middle school) in 1st sounds like your nephew. In her sd, they test all kids for gifted placement. When she got the word that her dd had scored very high, she actually called the school to confirm it because her dd was having so much trouble finishing things in 1st grade. Her dd went to a gifted school for 2nd, and later was diagnosed with ADD (not ADHD). It might be worth a trip to the pediatrician to rule out ADD too.

By the way, this girl is doing great in school and is very much her own person.

Tammy, I sent you a pm this morning. We went through something very similar last year.