Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums GT Research Overexcitabilities in Gifted Children

Wow, thanks so much for posting this! DS has all of the psychomotor - doesn't sleep much and talks fast & constantly. Unless he is focused on the computer, he does not sit still & drives us nuts bouncing around the house. Plus he developed some blinking & now tics I'm monitoring. I'm going to share this w/DH so we'll both be a little more patient or at least understanding of his energy.

I love the idea of OE, but it worries me too. Many of the OE's can be considered part of 'sensory integration disorder' and treated by visits with a pediatric occupational therapist, which is sometimes covered by insurance, or even provided in school. There are several good books on DIY (do it yourself) therapy for SID, but none for OE's. So I like the idea of 'being more understanding' up to a point, but to me, if you kid is still miserable after cutting out the tags on their clothing
and finding tube socks that work for them, then I would urge people NOT to just 'be more understanding' especially if they are the 'understanding types' in the first place.

I am so pleased that I learned about SID before I learned about OEs because I am the understanding type, and need to take action a bit more often. Of course - being yelled at constantly as a child that I'm 'being too sensitive' was so painful - and yet - my cousins with the 'nice and understanding mom' are all jealous that I can (sometimes) make myself do stuff while they retreat. So who knows?

Lots to think about,
Grinity

I actually learned about OE's before I learned about SID. Bear has SID (I'm borderline) and both boys, as well as myself, have OE's. The way I drew the line was when it is a constant disruption to everyday life it is probably more along the lines of a disorder than simply and OE. I've actually read something pretty much exactly along those lines in one of the sensory processing books. They said something like, "Everyone has times when they have difficulty with sensory processing, it's when it becomes a complication to everyday life that it becomes a disorder." I'd say it's sort of a spectrum type thing.

I have three OE's: Imaginational, Emotional, and mild Intellectual.

See the orginal post- someone's post here made me think of this again. Hope this is helpful to someone. This changed my whole attitude about my son and I'm so greatful just to have read it.

Good bump. IIRC the overexcitabilities stuff doesn't seem to have much empirical support, although it's in vogue today among parents. I lump it in with Multiple Intelligences. But even if Dabrowski's theories may not be perfect or perfectly well-supported, he does get across the idea that intense emotions, etc. are normal in gifted kids, which is an important thing for many to hear, and is borne out by observation. Just realizing that such differences are not abnormal within the subgroup could help avoid a misdiagnosis.

These are in many ways harder for parents to understand and deal with than the "smarts" are. DS was the king of meltdowns until he was about 6. It's hard to understand how a kid that is so smart and so mature in so many ways can throw the grandaddy of all tantrums. Someone told me once that for every IQ point in excess of the norm, a child has an equally excessive EQ which is why so many of these kids have such a hard time getting a handle on their emotions. I have no idea if this is true or not but it helped me have more patience when my son was on the floor wailing.

My being more understanding means realizing my children are not being ridiculous. I can accept their feelings as real. Their giftedness makes them aware of things in a different way than some others. They feel emotions deeply. I might say even if ___ is so much for you, you have to deal with it appropriately. Sometimes we can avoid situations, other times we have to manage.

DH has a very difficult time dealing with DS7's OEs. He doesn't understand how he can be so intelligent yet so immature. I have to remind him that he's only a child, often. I am going to use the "every IQ point over the norm" next time we discuss it.

Thankfully for us, DS7's tantrums have become less and less, but when he does have one, it can be over the top.

Plus you are likely to be dealing with
1) Societal conditioning and expectations about what a 'real man' is and
2) Father/Son thing where Father's feel particularly responsible for Son's behavior in this area.

So perhaps if you can ask about your DH's relationship with his father, and 'manliness' in general you can help DH not be 'taken by suprise' when the fears start to rise. Some of it is just practical - my DH rembers all too well how the 'cry-baby' boys in his social group were treated.

As one gifted 5th grade boy once said: "It's hard to feel masculine when every deoderant I try gives me a rash!"

Love and More Love,
Grinity

Love and More Love,
Grinity