Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school Hi! I'm back!!!!

Hi everyone! I'm back. After a pretty long hiatus. Ansley is now 3.9 and we have moved for Dh's job to an island in the middle of the Bering Sea....yes, in the middle of the ocean, only way on is by boat or plane. We are a 3+ hour airplane ride to anchorage. We have been here for 3 months now, and besides for freezing LOL, we are doing great.

I am really am starting to freak out at the challanges we are facing with Ansley. She is now reading on a 4th grade level, she is doing 2nd grade math without us ever even introducing it. (she played a game solving for x today just for fun. "hey mom its like solving a mystery!" She "sees it in my head mom" and she is in LOVE with all things science. She just finished a first grade science text with LOTS of supplimentation, and while looking for what to do next after she cried when finishing the book because "I want to do science Mama. PLEASE." She is able to pass the 3rd grade science tests with 80% accuracy.

She never stops. NEVER. But she is happy, so I basically let her do what she wants. She is struggeling with making friends. We had to leave the friends she had made who were her peers even thought they were 4 years older then her, and as of now she has only been able to connect with kids her age here, and well it is not working well. She gets really angry with them and is really rude to them.

Her play is just simply in no way comparable to theirs, and she is angry when they can not play the way she wants. She yells at them when they count wrong, she yells at them when they say they want to be a princess when they grow up, in fact she says "Ehhhhh (buzzard sound)Not happenin!" and then procedes to explain to them that the likelihood of that happening is not likely. They just stare at her and turn around and go back to playing. Sigh. She wants to be both an orthopedic surgeon and an astronomer and talks about going to med school on an almost daily basis. She told me at dinner the other night out of nowhere, "I never want to stop learning!"

This island is small. We won't be here forever, but basically DH and I feel like public school will not be an option when she is basically operating 3 grade levels ahead in math, and 5 ahead in science and math, and we haven't even started school or homeschooling for real yet. Early entrence to K is not happening here, and even if they did let us (which they won't), she has been doing everything they cover in K for at least 2 years. She just reads everything she can get her hands on. But with this island being small, there is no homeschool co-ops, no gifted resources, absolutly nothing, even the library is limited, and she has already in the 3 months we are here exhausted most of the science section. I am now in bush alaska, with a PG gifted child who can teach herself anything and I have no resources. We do have internet, so if someone can give me some good websites for her to be able to go on, that would be wonderful. She can use the internet by herself and taught herself to type, and we are stuck inside ALL winter. With the wind that blows here at least 50mph everday it is just to cold to go out at all, and she is so board. She can only play her elaborate pretend worlds for so long, they play does go on for days, but she stops in between and wants other things to do.

Anyway, I am back. And will probably be on here a lot turning for support since was are so isolated. Right now DH and I have been discussing looking in to Stanford EPGY program here come summer, (she will be 4 in March)but other than that we really do not know what to do with her. We have been told by several doctors and an education specialist to prepare for her needing college level material by the time she is supposed to enter middle school. I am not working and probably will not be at all while we live here, and I will be homeschooling her. Okay, enough rambeling. It is late, and I need some sleep.

Night all

Amanda, wow, that's quite a situation.

I would be very concerned about the rudeness. In your shoes I would try to teach her to play the way other kids play, so she can participate in what they are doing at least for short stretches. And I would do some role playing about how to shift a game in her direction, without being rude.

Sometimes a kid with too few social skills will use academics as a cover. My own DS8 (has Asperger's) has said to me "I'm no good at this social stuff, let's go home and do more science." My opinion is that being with other people is a key life skill and if it's hard, we need to learn it.

You'll have the academics taken care of more easily, since you are homeschooling and can go at her pace. But running out of possible friends on an island sounds worrisome.

DeeDee

Welcome back! Sounds like a challenge, to be sure. You sort of have the school question answered for the time being, sounds like, so I suppose I'd focus on groups she can join, girls scouts, astronomy groups (I would think ak would be great for that, and I'd bet they wouldn't turn their noses up to a kid with real interest...)

Also sounds like you'll need to really make an effort to get out and meet other parents who are handling the winter indoors, one way or another. Best of luck!

Here are some ideas for online games/videos/info that might keep her busy for a while. Doing the EPGY open enrollment or another program of that sort sounds like a great idea as well.

Maybe you can make social skills into part of your curriculum. It is understandable that a 3-4 y/o wouldn't have mastered that yet and given how out of step she is with her age peers also understandable that she is frustrated. Like others have said, it will benefit her to have that be something she spends time working on, though.

Hi. It sounds like your daughter will do all right academically no matter what, so your challenge is really to help her not waste her time when she feels like learning. I would join some home schooling groups and find one or more curriculums to work with, to make sure she is well-rounded as she progresses. Singapore Math, EPGY, etc. are well-respected, for instance, and you could supplement with a wide range of fun math materials.

On science, I'm not so sure of where we're going to go yet. explorelearning.com has some cool applets (small applications) for illustrating math and science concepts. We've been working through a science workbook that's supposedly a thorough treatment of science at around a fourth-grade level, but it seems pretty basic to me. I think that if you got hold of a good science curriculum and were up for buying actual textbooks, and actually did some explorations and experiments, and adjusted to add material to help her go in whatever directions she showed strong interest, you'd be doing well enough at this stage. There are some pretty good science kit toys out there for self-directed play (google "Thames and Kosmos" for starters), but unless the knowledge is fit into a framework, it might result an uneven foundation. You can also join some online places featuring lesson plans, and supplement with free stuff like Wikipedia. DS5 has learned lots of science so far using Wikipedia and branching out from there.

If you're going to let your daughter use the web, make sure there is safe-browsing software installed. It's my experience that my son can go somewhere not on the preapproved path if I turn my back for a trice.

I guess the main thing I'd be looking at is mail order to supplement the web, at this stage. It's a shame the library and island in general aren't better equipped, but that's the way it is. You'll wind up spending more money, but otherwise should face roughly the same set of challenges faced by home schoolers everywhere. You just can't as easily find a local museum, play group at your level, etc.

Don't give up on the library... can you ILL? I know the public library here can get books even from academic libraries, which opens up the posiblility of getting stuff from the teachers' colleges of universities. I've had good luck finding all kinds of interesting but not overly teachy stuff at the local teachers' college. One library is frequently pretty much *all* libraries, with an internet connection and some effort.

Oh! And maybe exploit the unique environment. Have you heard of a book called "Thora"? It's a novel about a half-mermaid, (who appears to me to be gifted;)), probably around your daughter's reading level (I've just giving up on guessing the reading level -- it's listedon amazon as gr4-6, I would have read it in gr.2, but I'm a confusing mess for that), and it might get her interested in exploring the place itself. DS (much younger than yours) got better at transit when we started showing him maps and talking a lot about different vehicles and routes. It might be fridgid, but there's no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing -- if she's interested enough in the physical place, she might be willing to go out collecting. Heck, she might be interested in learning "survival skills," like which order to layer clothing in, and what to put in a -50 first aid kit I did a bunch of that stuff, and eventually got to the point of winter camping in historicaly-accurate gear... there's lots scope in geography, biology, etc. in an isolated ocean environment. And such a rich one, historically. Seems a shame to waste the life experience of just being there.

Maybe she'd like to make up stories about a little girl living on an island in the Berring sea who needs to find a way to "fit" without loosing herself.

Good Luck,
-Mich

Sorry, I have a "thing" for northern climes and oceans. I'm just totally transfixed by the idea of finding the fun for a kid in a place like that.

I'm kinda jealous, actually

Does she like poetry? Oh, man, there's this storry about a poet stuck on a skerry near Icland, "badly off for clothing" -- he invents a verse-form called "shivering verse." The story is in the Hattatal section of The Younger Edda, which is a thousand year old textbook of Old Norse Poetry. It would need interpretation for a kid that age/level, and there's only one english translation (you need the Faulks trans, it's like 10$), but the word-games you could play!

Shutting up now.

I have an obsessive streak
-Mich

Hey Welcome Back!!
Great to see you.
I guess it's normal for 3 year olds to misbehave, and I would try to get her around some older kids for socialization - even if I had to pay the older kids to be 'mother's helper' a few hours a week.

I think my son's Middle School Science Text books provide great overviews of various fields. Perhaps she would like 'Biology?'

Here's a link you may like - http://mastersinspecialeducation.net/2010/top-50-open-access-open-source-education-projects/

I'm wondering about winter - can you even go outside to get in the car and get to the library, YMCA? I'd have to think that there is some place were the other kids go to hang out afterschool and run around a bit.

I guess in your situation I would consider signing up with an online school, such as K12, and letting her rip through the curriculum, along with enrichment. I wouldn't worry about sending her to school at least until age 5-6, and then I wouldn't rule out that the school might 'get' her - you'll just have to wait and see.

Another approach is to start your own 'micro-private school' so you can have kids around part of the day, and not feel so cooped up.

So glad we can be in contact over the Internet.
Best Wishes,
Grinity

Ok, I'm not the OP but I absolutely LOVE that idea!

For indoor activities... how big is your house? Do you have room for an indoor slide/swing? Could you install some sort of climbing bars? Get a trampoline? What about those pop up tent/tunnels (we have some in our super-small apt and they store very nicely!). I'd definitely look into a lot movement equipment to get out that extra energy if you're snowed in.

I also agree with trying to build multi-age friendships. Get her involve in an activity that isn't age segregated and start making friends now that would like to come over and play! DD seems to interact better with older kids (my understanding is that that's pretty normal for the under 6 crowd).

Also, what about running science experiments non-stop throughout the winter. You have all that snow so make use of it! Measure it, weigh it, melt it, get a magnifying glass and check out the snow flakes, watch the weather channel, research different climates, make "winter foods" together in the kitchen, talk about how animals survive the winter. Also don't forget to build lots and lots of snow forts! Maybe even get some food coloring with water in a spray bottle to paint them. Also, definitely look into other science experiments for that age.

Good luck!

Thank you all so much. Today was a rough day. We headed to the library and she had a melt down, we had to leave, it was embarassing....but I was very proud that after she stopped and calmed down she was able to recognize that her actions were inappropriate and she asked to go back and apologize. She did all by herself to. It probably didn't help that she was tired and was up from 11:30-2:30am last night. She says "I just can't turn my brain off" She was up reading and talking to me about light sources. LOL

Right now she gets very locked in, very rigid, and inflexible, so when moving to another task she loses it. This just recently started and I think there's some genetic OCD going on there along with after effects from the move. We are really working on it, but it is trying on everyone in the house.

Thank you for all the suggestions. I miss our homeschool co-op group back in PA. She was able to interact with all different ages and had been allowed to be in the older groups classes. Unfortunatly there are not a lot of kids here. We do not have a YMCA but do have a local Parks and Recreation department that has activities, although they all seem pretty age segregated without much wiggle room. I do have her enrollled starting in Jan, in a once a moth till May pottery class for 2-5 year olds, and a one month soccor thing for 3 and 4 year olds. In the summer they usually have all kinds of very neat programs, but....they all state the child must have completed K. Well she has, at home with us, and really completed 1st grade too.....but how do I convince them of that for a 4 year old (she will be 4 then)?

The girl scouts here state the child must be enrolled in K. Although she REALLY wants to do girlscouts and I quote "get lots of patches!". I am again, not sure how to approach them, as she has completed K just not at the school here. Any ideas?

Dee Dee- I am very concerned with the rudeness, and we have really been working on it, modeling, etc. She is actually very polite and interacts wonderfully with teenagers and adults...but struggels desperately with her own age kids. I see her already using academics to cope, as soon as her friend left she spent several hours immersing herself in math...it seemed like it was a life line for her and helped her deal with having played and felt frusterated with her playmate for 2 hours.

Cricket- Thank you for the links. I am checking them all out tonight. Ansley really wants to do the EPGY after looking at the demos online, so DH and I are trying to use it as an incentive to have better behavior and less melt downs.

Lucounu- Yeah, for science we are actually buying a 3rd grade textbook, have some work books and will be doing lots of science experiements. And your right, the hardest part is just not being able to even drive to a musueum or other activity to suppliment. I have to get creative>

Mich- I can ILL. I checked today. That will help alot. I am going to have to check out that book after the holidays Thank you. I am a southern girl and I freeze LOL. But it is beautiful here. You should see the mountains and volcanic cliffs falling right into the Bering Sea. AMAZING. And yes, she LOVES poetry, that was one of the things we were reading in the middle of the night last night! LOL

Grinity- Good to "see" you again. We have found a very gifted highschooler to "keep" her every now and then and he came over for the first time last week and she LOVED him. The wrote stories and did solving for x together LOL. We also had a Christmas party the other night and one of our guest turned out to be a former montessori teacher who recognized right off DD's "uniqueness" and spent the whole evening doing math and reading with her. He promised to come over and play with her again LOL. So now I just need to find some kids in elemetary ages for her to be able to play with.

Newmom21C- I love the all winter long science experiment. WSe have already been doing lots of measuring LOL. And I think it would be good to invest in something indoor. Maybe there will be some sales after christmas. The bad thing is shipping here can be outrageous. I had to pay $70 on shipping for her $100 playmobil pyramid for Christmas! It's crazy!

Thank you all for your help And any ideas on how to approach the Parks and Recreation on leting her in the older programs this summer and the girl scout troup would be helpful. Thanks!