Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy what to do, what to do?

Two years ago, I would have been firmly in the acceleration camp, being a product of acceleration. And I am not saying that acceleration isn't welcome, but only with peers for me.

I have already stated this in other topics but I just thought of starting a new one.

DD6 is in grade 1. Late Sept birthday, so one of the youngest, not the youngest. Though smallest, even smaller than the Asian ethnic kids. Had a problem with a boy who stood in line in front of her (they all have numbers to identify themselves and line up). After a few instances -- figured he just liked her but a boy swinging a lunch bag around a girl a head shorter is not a good plan, even if just to get her attention.

And on the yard, during recess, a boy knocker her down -- just an accident, but this is a girl who is in hot shots gymnastics, track to preteam, so she is not frail, but she is frail.

I am doing this post because I noticed there were a lot of posts about acceleration and comments about their kids being tall. We are trying again for the alternative gifted school (all lottery based) which is accelerated, since DD is way ahead in her CTY math. But being a loner accelerated wouldn't work for her.

Alternatively, she is doing Spanish and chess in her class as part of her grade work. We supplement with Chinese, piano and Science at the museum -- the latter being a fabulous science program. So she gets words like: brother, this and over for her weekly spelling but she learns how to use a dictionary as part of her word study. OK, not rocket science but there are a bunch of little things, including the social stuff -- which is strong in NYC school yards -- and using a dictionary to figure out definitions, OK, I couldn't think of another one.

For those of you who find out your kid is really smart, it may not be all about acceleration -- except for math, and we would not be happy without the CTY math. It can work for a little while in their grade -- with horizontal diversification -- like we do with Chinese and piano and science.

But consider the size of your child. It does make a difference.

Side note: on the social thing. Kid comes up to DD and says that she must sit beside her at lunch. DD says OK and Blank will sit with them. This child insists Blank cannot sit anywhere near them. DD says Blank can sit on one side and she can sit on the other side. This child insists that Blank cannot sit on the other side or she will have to cry all afternoon and DD will feel bad that she is so sad. DD did relate this story and laugh and Blank did sit beside her and another child sat on the other side at lunch. We discussed ultimatums and she made the right choice.

Anyone else have such bizarre social stories at grade 1? Like the little boy bullying. I went on a field trip and could tell the teachers an incident I observed, plus another I saw in the morning plus what DD said so she was switched in her line up. Did not expect this kind of stuff in grade 1.

In addition, since I am on a writing roll. As mentioned, DD is in hot shots at gymnastics. Next year, she, if decided, would have to go to preteam, which means 4:30-7 two times a week. In ballet, if she goes preprofessional, it is 2 times a week, but not so much time. It is like making a commitment at 7 to something you want to spend a lot of time doing. Though I do insist she practice piano enough. At the Young People's concerts, there was a violin virtuoso, a 13 year old, who performed. She practices 3 hours a day and said she should practice 5 hours. It just seems you make choices, if you want to be competitive, at such a young age. I keep telling DD that I want her to have choices when she is grown. Maybe she wants to be a corporate lawyer doing deals around the world (hence she takes Chinese), maybe she wants to be a doctor or an astronaut, and she takes the science at the museum, maybe she wil want to write musical theater so she takes her piano and ballet. No reason for the gymnastics except they love to do walk overs and flips.

That's it. Post for the day. Though maybe the month.

Have a merry, healthy holiday season everyone.

Best,
Ren

Ren,

No major thoughts on the size/acceleration issue. DS9 is one year grade skipped and smallish for his size but it has not been an issue. As for the extra-curricular activities - what is the actual issue? I say let her choose at this age and then stick with her choice for a session/season etc. and go from there.

Wren, about the Mandrin. We don't have no lessons here. I was going to start the boy with chinese calligraphy, he's done so well with shapes and penmanship but my new daughter is super verbal. Got nothing to say yet, but she chatters non-stop. So I'm looking into language now. Ok, enough bragging. I'll get to the point. Maybe your girl wants for santa to bring her what I just bought- Chinese Disney movies. (cars, Cinderella, the Chinese have them all). It takes a special DVD player, around $100. But since Chinese is so tonal maybe the cartoons will bring it to life. Besides, we don't have classes here AFaIK. I'm with you all the way that education equals opportunity and that kids are here to start living right now, not just wait 'till they're older like some people say.

Shoot, I shouldn't have said nothin' until I built up my DVD collection. Don't go wiping out Amazon, I still have birthdays and other holidays comming up.

We do Mandarin over Skype once a week, and once a month drive 70 miles to meet with the teacher. So for those who do not have anyone in your area, I can say that for coversational aspect of the language Skype works fine.

Honestly, that sounds like pretty typical little-girl drama to me. I just got a copy of Little Girls Can Be Mean, and it was helpful in understanding the "why" behind little-girl drama.

DD is 70th percentile for height, so tall for age. But she was young for grade before the skip, so not tall compared to her grade-mates. It was important to her that she not be the shortest in the grade.

DD's Mandarin class has an online homework review, so she can go in and pick a lesson and do it. Thanks for the suggestion about Mandarin Disney movies.

The only issue with her extracurriculars is that she doesn't want to practice piano. She wants to play the pieces, just not have to practice.

Best,
Ren

DD5 is at the short end of the scale of her pre-k class, and she's one of the oldest. But there is a girl in her class that is still in 3T clothes at age 5. She isn't being considered for acceleration (neither is DD), but there will always be someone who is extremely small or extremely tall for his/her age.

I don't disagree that size should be a factor, but it shouldn't be the sole reason not to accelerate. Obviously the boy swinging his lunch box would swing it whether your DD was behind him or not.

And thankfully we haven't dealt with girl drama, but a good friend of mine has, starting in K... seems there was a big emphasis on clothing brand and such already. I am thankful my DC do not have that issue with brands and expensive toys, etc, as some of the kids at their schools are lucky enough to have clothes at all (DS7 goes to a Title I school, so the average family income is very low).

Hey, on the subject of movies in other languages, if you are looking for something like french or spanish, a lot of the movies I have gotten lately have this already on the dvd, you just have to adjust the settings and 'Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs' plays in spanish or french...for some reason both the kids really enjoy this.

My two love watching their movies in French or Spanish as well.