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Mom0405: I was a bit mild in the way I put this to the SLP, but I'm gonna let it all fall out here: For cryin' out loud, we DO all that stuff!!!!!!! (Sorry about that -- needed to be said, rudely, not to you, but man, I just needed to say it that way) (Sidenote: I'm an artist, I worked with SLPs until I decided to stay home wit DS, I actaully know this stuff kinda ok.)

The three times thing is something I've done since he was born, and we regularly use "simple" sentances -- we just don't want to do it ALL THE TIME. "See Space Shuttle?" "See little wings" "small wings, small" just.... just... just... blark. (Actually, DS was the one who asked about the small wings... Answering why they're small in three word sentences would be even harder)


So: here's the next installment in the story. DH offered to write the email to reject the programme and accept followup instead. He wrote this incredibly "Polite," horrifically condescending letter, asked for published studies, and appended the PhD to his name

It was SOOOOOOOOOO strident compaired to what I had written first, when I was trying to be "nice."

DH is WAY better with people than I am, so I decided not to complain, and he sent it. <giggle> I hope they don't send out a hit squad.

-Mich

It all can make one a little crazy. I know that I felt that way. I wouldn't totally deny free? services at this point but just say that you would like to wait until he is 2. Ha - my husband is so much more eloquent as well, especially when I am incensed.:) It will be harder later to get the free? services that would probably only be 30 mins per week anyway. They really should be fun unless your child really doesn't want to even try (like mine) - but in our case, our original SLP was a terrible personality fit with my DS. Feel free to vent. Good luck!

Mich -
It's understandable that you are put off by the level of conversation these providers are able to have with you - but -
it seems to me that there is no harm in trying a session or two and trying to figure out what they are up too. Lots of talented practitioners can't really put into words what they do.

I'm assuming that you'll be in the room the whole time. I'm assuming the providers are well meaning - not competent, just well meaning. I'm assuming that over a few weeks you'll be in a better to judge 'what they do, not what they say.'


When you use the expression 'subject him to the treatment' it sounds like they are proposing electroshock. (They aren't, are they?)
and I'd love more details about what you observed in DS that leads you to think he is pulling 'old tricks.'

You've refered to having LDs in school. Would it be helpful to talk about that in more detail, including what happened when folks wanted to 'help?'

Love and More Love,
Grinity

DS2 was diagnosed with expressive language delay at 18 months. He had less than day-to-day 10 words, but his pediatrician decided to take a wait-and-see approach.

Now at 2, he is still weak in articulation even though his receptive language is well above average.

At his 2-year-old well checkup, his pediatrician still was not concerned. He believes DS� delay expressive language is mostly due to being at home instead of daycare.

Maybe speech just isn�t his strong suite.

My DD "failed" the 18-month speech screening (self-report on paper, not with an SLP) here, because she didn't have 8 words. (Certainly not 8 "regularly" - I don't think she had said 8 different words in her life. Nor did she use signs, nor onomatapoeia.) And she failed the 24-month screening, for lack of 2-word sentences.

Two in a row got us an SLP assessment, but she'd figured out talking by then, so passed easily.

The SLP we had said that if the child wasn't frustrated by an inability to communicate, and there were no other developmental issues, that there was unlikely to be a true expressive language delay.

At one point he started repeating every word they said, but with a consistent sound shift. It's "play based," but they were unwilling to play in the ways he likes to play (his attempts to complicate things were denied, his attempts to play with the adult rather than in parrallel were turned asside) He was trying to seek out "safe" places, and hid between my knees a lot while staring at a toy, he wanted to read books, but there weren't any... I'm a bit shy of his quirks making him identifiable here if I give too many examples. I've given a lot of details already

By 'subjecting,' I guess I was referring to the bullying tactics. Repeating the same word louder and louder and with more and more unpleasant exageration until he gave in and just said it. Getting in his personal space (the typical thing where you see the adult chasing the kid around the room, with the kid always backing off the same distance each time. He tried to put a table between himself and the assessor, but she wouldn't let him get into the chair by himself, and he freaked a little when she grabbed him, and got back up when he saw she was going to crouch next to him rather than sitting where he told her to... Ok, it's not like he really gets to tell everyone where to sit, but he did not want her that close.) He was "off" all day afterwards, and did some extremely uncharacteristic things.

And they want us to stop using any sentance longer than three words. And they want us to stop encouraging please/thank you and not use adjectives and start encouraging "mine," amongst other words which we feel are inappropriate for cultural reasons. Also the programme begins earlier than his normal waking time, so it would be a big schedule change, and probably result in his sleeping even less at night (we haven't been able to get him to sleep earlier, so he'd prob. just move night-sleep to daytime nap time -- he only sleeps 7-9 hrs at night as it is).

I, personally, was very put off by many things about the experiece appart from what I've written, including the SLP's excessive and demanding eye contact with me (yeah, I'm a bit aspergery, but this was pretty intense, I realized when I was collecting our stuff that not only did I move each chair I sat in back by a meter or so, but I changed chairs closer to the door twice). That all information which we were provided with before hte appt turned out to be incorrect -- so we went into a completely different assment than was described, 4 mos earlier than planned, etc. That they did not even look at his mouth or ears (SLPs are supposed to check for physical speech impediments, too).

I was told "Understanding means when you tell him to get his shoes, does he?" as a correction because I had been describing him initiating activities based on what was being said around and to him.

I think, above all, that the underlying assumptions are culturally inappropriate to my family.

He does get very frustrated trying to communicate, but that's largely because he regularly tries to communicate paragraph-long ideas. Like which method of propulsion he'd like to use for which method of transportation he's like to take to get to which location where he can find out the answer to what question. When he finally gets it across, he grinns, says "Yeah!" and is on to the next topic
If he's "supposed" to have 50 words, I can darned well see why he'd rather point to pictures in the picture dictionary.

Sorry. Thanks for the space to talk it out...
-Mich

That is what the research we were able to find showed. Fairly precicely

But but but... really...

Why would anyone recomend treatment for an insignificant problem?

-Mich.

Love it!!!
I agree that this particular individual isn't a good match for your family.
I agree that this particular individual isn't a good match for your family.
It's frustrating when you percieve things that other people just don't see what the problem is. I just want you to know that totally see the problem. I do think that a different provider might have a different approach and be more respectful. You'd probably have to pre-screen the next one if this issue keeps up. It's frustrating.

It sounds like your DH has handled things for now. I'm so glad you got a chance to speak your mind here. It's important and our neighbors get to do it daily!

Yippee!
Grinity

I get that quiestion, I really do. Are they really making a big deal and telling you it's nothing at the same time! But you are his mother. It may take a village to raise a child, but he is your child to raise. This lady was hired to do a job to help you. If she's not doing it to your satisfaction, or worse, trying to use high pressure tactics rather than trying to help you, how do I say this? You hired her to do a job. If you feel like she's less than satisfactory don't pay her to do what you don't want done in the first place. She should still be in business later if your perspective is wrong and you have to go back. Since it's something you should try to begin correcting early tell her openly that you're concerned, that it is important to you. Tell her that you want to work with her if she thinks it would help your son. Whatever's best for the kid, always. But mention honestly which parts work for you and which parts aren't working for you. Ask her how much she can help you work with him at home, since you spend more time with him all day. About the 3 word sentences, I would almost say add some, give him some. I wouldn't stop what you're doing, just give him a little something extra by giving him the simple sentences she's reccomending a couple times a day. Not to change how you treat him or talk to him, but to add something extra. It will either help or it won't. I don't see it being a hinder, that way. And maybe it teaches him to be a little more flexible in life, not that he's not.