Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy How to tell people the change to new gifted school

How would you tell people if your child left a school to go to a Gifted School?

I've tried a few different ways to explain our school change and nothing feels right. Most people want to know why. I don't want to tell everyone the kids are gifted. This feels like labling and bragging. It feels like if I say they needed more challenge or they have indivual learning plans like we think we are better than their kids. Do I just need to get use to this or is there a better way?

Last year, a friend said her child in my son's grade was really struggling. She wanted to now how much time my son studied and did Homework. I said you shouldn't compare. My straight A son was putting no effort into school. She got insulted and said her boy was smart too. I want to avoid this sort of situation.

any advise would be appreciated.

Have you tried just saying it was a better fit for the whole family and it wasn't anything the school was or wasn't doing, it was just something that had to be done that worked best for everyone?

We pulled our younger son out of the local school abruptly when he got admitted to a gifted charter last minute. I just tell people my son goes to a charter school.

I was prepared for people to question it, but they really didn't. No doubt this is largely due to his only being at the "regular" school for a few days. In our area it's not uncommon for people to switch it up a bit. Where I grew up it would have been extremely unusual for anyone to leave the local public for a reason other than a family move.

Nobody has actually asked "why?" They've asked where he goes to school, but it hasn't been questioned. I was prepared to say the reason was because the gifted school goes through eighth grade, but I never got a chance to use it! Is there any neutral reason you could give? Do people recognize the name of the school?

I like that.

I have not thought of a neutral reason. I definitely speak well of our prior school as part of the conversation. Most People don't know of this school. When they ask where it is they are very surprized I do the 35-45 min. each way commute.

"Well, I think the education at School X fits my children's learning style better. So, what do you think of the new shopping center?"

((wink))

Sometimes parents talk about not wanting their kid to be overlooked in the larger classrooms, or on the playing field.

Good Luck,
Grinity

We sometimes get asked the same sort of thing since we're homeschooling and everyone around here has smart kids and tends to think their particular school is the best thing since sliced bread. I just say it's the right fit for my kids right now given their personalities and needs at the moment. How about that weather?

Thanks for this reminder. I do think it's good to change the subject if talking to someone I don't want to share so much information with. Sometimes people have pressed for more info and I refer them to the website.

I appreciate this help. It's helpful to have a plan in place to deal with this better. I've had lots of curious parents asking questions.

How about, "We looked at a lot of different factors and decided we'd try out a different school. We'll see how it goes!"

If you need to mention the name of the school, it might work best to say "X" school, leaving out the gifted school part, or use the generic "charter school" label if that's appropriate.

We are facing the same questions this year. Local people know what the school is from the name and they always have a comment. Like, why would you put that pressure on a 7 year old? Doesn't the homework take 2 hours? Won't he get burned out? I'm able to respond by telling them how much he loves school this year finally. Sometimes we can move on to a different topic, but sometimes they press. If they do, I will say, "Well, it's not for everyone, but DS does better in school when the teachers give him lots of new material." Nan

I felt this way when my children first started at our gifted school. Over the years, I've come to realize that most people can be easily distracted if you keep the sentence going with some other pertinent information.

For example:

Person: Where does your dd go to school?

Me: She goes to Blank School. It's near the intersection of Main and Elm about 20 minutes from here. So far the drive is going well, but we'll see come winter!

or

Me: She goes to Blank School. It's quite a haul, but I have a carpool which really helps. DD really wishes she could take the bus. Does your dc like the bus?

Then we're off and talking about the bus or the drive rather than the reason dd goes to the school she does. I swear, it works 95% of the time.

Plus, after a few years, I think I'm less sensitive about it. Either they know the school or they don't. If I have to explain it, I'll often say something like, "DD has some special learning needs that make this classroom a better fit." People rarely push after that.

Thanks for the good tips!

Just to echo what others have said- I usually reply with something along the lines of "This is what we have found to be the best for our family." People around here know the private school my kids attend is for gifted kids. It also has the reputation of being quite liberal (which it is ). I have had people question be further but it is usually out of a curiousity about the school, not for anything malicious.